you don't have to wear that dress tonight

Yesterday was Jeremy's birthday (of Tamara and Jeremy) and so last night we celebrated with a surprise party. It was also my dad's birthday, but he wanted to hold off on celebrating, surprise or otherwise. We quickly established that, although Jeremy and my dad have the same birthday, Jeremy is not, in fact, my father. There was some confusion for a while, though.

When we got to Tamara and Jeremy's, I noticed that there were decorations on the front door. I was all, "um, won't that tip him off to the surprise?" and Heidi was like, "yeah, he's here . . . he's in the bedroom." Apparently some girls were totally mean to him ON HIS BIRTHDAY (read about it here) and he was sad. Stupid girls. Luckily, there were lots of people and food and drinks and ROCK BAND to make up for the bitchy, bitchy girls he works with.

Have you ever noticed that when Rock Band makes an appearance, everyone gets this manic look in their eyes? A greedy, manic look like, "I WANT TO PLAY ALL THE INSTRUMENTS AT THE SAME TIME AND ALSO SING AND OH MY GOD WHAT IF I DON'T GET TO SING WEEZER?" I'm not kidding. That game turns people into drunk five-year-olds and have you ever been around a drunk five-year-old? If you've been around me when I'm drunk, then that's close enough.

It was pretty awesome. Heidi remembered to strum. We discovered that Tamara is a fucking awesome singer. I got to sing Oasis. Sting inhabited Joe's body for the entirety of Roxanne. It was a little spooky.

This week on The Collective, we're sharing embarrassing stories about ourselves. I'm having a hard time coming up with anything, despite having embarrassed myself on a daily basis for about, oh, 25* years now. A little help? Heidi?

*I say 25, because I couldn't really talk for the first year . . . although, when I was a baby I did routinely poop my pants and that's sort of embarrassing.