Tuesday, November 18, 2008

If I were joking, you'd be laughing. Do you look like you're laughing?

Yesterday morning, I had this conversation with my boss:

Boss: How was your weekend?
Me: Good. Yours?
Boss: Oh, fine. I love your hair color.
Me: Thanks?
Boss: Is that your natural color?
Me: Yeah.
Boss: It's very pretty. I used to have pretty hair like that.

Does that sound weird? What if I told you my boss was a man? I mean, I'd be lying if I said that, but it would be weird, right? If my boss was a man? And told me I had pretty hair? Anyway. Moving on.

This morning, there were some of those tiny, chocolate donuts sitting on the counter. This counter is where all the free-for-all food goes. Some mornings there is banana bread! Other mornings there are muffins. Sometimes a bag of McDonald's breakfast sandwiches is sitting there and SOME MORNINGS a bag of chocolate chip cookies is sitting there. Like yesterday. Yesterday there were chocolate chip cookies. When there are cookies on the counter in the morning, we call them breakfast cookies and eat them for breakfast and since we call them breakfast cookies they are healthy. It's true. SCIENCE.

Right, so, there were tiny donuts. And I had no idea where they came from and I don't even particularly LIKE these tiny, chocolate donuts (the taste, it has a hint of plastic) but I ate one anyway. And then it occurred to me. I had no idea who'd put the donuts there. No one ever knows where the food on the free-for-all counter comes from. These donuts could have been planted by an evil evil-doer planning to do evil by...I don't know, poisoning the HR department. That'd be pretty evil. Plus, lots of people want to poison us right now on account of it's open enrollment and IT'S ALL OUR FAULT THAT BENEFITS COST SO MUCH. Ahem. Then I decided I didn't really care if the food was poisoned and had another donut.

You guys, this is the longest week ever and I know I say that every week but this time I mean it. I have volunteering tonight and at some point this week I really need to get an oil change (my car needs lubed something fierce) and I need to get a wedding card because, oh, did I tell you? I'm going to another wedding this weekend! This is good, though, because lots and lots of friends are going, too, and faraway friends are coming to visit and this doesn't happen nearly often enough. I may need all of next week to recover from their visit, so it's a good thing that A) next week is Thanksgiving week and B) I did not do anything stupid like agree to run a 5 mile race at 8 AM. It's not often I make good decisions, so I'm relishing the one I made to NOT run for a while. Especially since I think Jillian Michaels fucked up my knee.


Beau said...

If you were on the biggest loser, which trainer would you want? Bob or Jillian?

I think I would want Bob. He isn't as hardcore as Jillian and I think Jillian might make me cry...and I don't like to cry.

Jennie! said...

I would definitely want Jillian. I need someone to yell at me, otherwise I would just make up excuses and quit.

eclectic said...

Stay away from plastic-covered donuts. It's a good motto for life, actually.

Also, running on Thanksgiving has got to be a communist plot to destroy everything good about America. Hiking, on the other hand, is what to do on Thanksgiving morning before any sane person is even awake. I am insane. So I'm doing that.

Stephanie said...

Mm, evil donuts.

Abigail said...


Especially with a big glass or orange juice. Yummmmm.

Jillian seems to have more passion/emotion/extrovertedness so I think I would pick her. Except Amy P. was like in love with Bob last week and I love me some Amy P. so maybe I should go with Bob. Have you guys been watching this season? It is hands down the best drama on reality TV this fall.

Jennie! said...

Shari, see, hiking is better than running because you don't have to run.


Abigail, I haven't been watching it. But if Bravo shows a marathon, I'm totally all over it.

Tamara Garvey said...

I agree that those tiny donuts have a slight ping of plastic! However they are still better/safer to eat than the powdered ones that leave powder all over you, especially if you accidentally breathe JUST A LITTLE while raising one to your mouth. I have never done that, I just heard it could happen.