I'm addicted to a lot of things, from The Office to caffeine to mainlining the Internet daily, but my biggest time-wasting addiction is reality makeover shows. I prefer What Not to Wear or Tim Gunn's Guide to Style, but in a pinch, any makeover show will do, especially if it's America Next Top Model's makeover show, mostly because I like to watch skinny, pretty girls cry over their new hair-don'ts.
It's when I try and choose between What Not to Wear and Tim Gunn's Guide to Style that I run into trouble. I'd say my love of Tim Gunn pretty much equals my love of Stacy, Clinton, and Stacy's wardrobe, but if I were going to go on a makeover show, I think I'd rather be on What Not to Wear. I think. I'm not even sure that's true. See, you get $5000 to spend in NYC on What Not to Wear, but I'm not sure how far that goes in those stores. On the other hand, Tim Gunn's lucky ladies get to pick out ten "essential" items from Macy's, which . . . yeah, doesn't sound that great BUT JUST HOLD ON A SECOND. Tim Gunn then takes the contestant to some designer's studio, where she always ends up getting to KEEP a dress. ALSO. There's this bit in the beginning where they get to go to La Perla and pick out lots of fancy, expensive bras. The downside is, Tim Gunn's lady model friend goes through your underwear drawer and all of TVland sees your granny panties, plus you have to model your new bras while you're trying them on at La Perla.
There are downsides to both shows, I suppose. I mean, it always looks like they throw away the majority of your wardrobe. Even t-shirts! That part always makes me cry a little so then I go to my own closet and pull out my favorite t-shirts to give them long, loving hugs. I'm pretty sure they don't ACTUALLY throw all of your clothes away, probably just the really skanky ones you shouldn't be wearing anyway.
And then! You get your hair cut and styled and they show you how to put on makeup without looking like a tranny clown whore, which is always an important step in any woman's life. Now that I think about it, I'm changing my mind about which show I'd want to be on. Stacy and Clinton are funny and fierce and have that cool (but scary) all-around mirror, but Tim Gunn almost always cries at some point because of how good he made the woman look. Plus also, he gives them better self-esteem and seems like he actually cares about your stupid problems. I don't think Stacy and/or Clinton have ever cried over anyone. Not that I'd turn down either show if someone wanted to submit me for one of them. I would happily parade around in my bra on television if it meant I'd get a shiny new wardrobe.
WINNER: Tim Gunn (duh)