Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Tim Gunn vs. Stacy and Clinton

I'm addicted to a lot of things, from The Office to caffeine to mainlining the Internet daily, but my biggest time-wasting addiction is reality makeover shows. I prefer What Not to Wear or Tim Gunn's Guide to Style, but in a pinch, any makeover show will do, especially if it's America Next Top Model's makeover show, mostly because I like to watch skinny, pretty girls cry over their new hair-don'ts.

It's when I try and choose between What Not to Wear and Tim Gunn's Guide to Style that I run into trouble. I'd say my love of Tim Gunn pretty much equals my love of Stacy, Clinton, and Stacy's wardrobe, but if I were going to go on a makeover show, I think I'd rather be on What Not to Wear. I think. I'm not even sure that's true. See, you get $5000 to spend in NYC on What Not to Wear, but I'm not sure how far that goes in those stores. On the other hand, Tim Gunn's lucky ladies get to pick out ten "essential" items from Macy's, which . . . yeah, doesn't sound that great BUT JUST HOLD ON A SECOND. Tim Gunn then takes the contestant to some designer's studio, where she always ends up getting to KEEP a dress. ALSO. There's this bit in the beginning where they get to go to La Perla and pick out lots of fancy, expensive bras. The downside is, Tim Gunn's lady model friend goes through your underwear drawer and all of TVland sees your granny panties, plus you have to model your new bras while you're trying them on at La Perla.

There are downsides to both shows, I suppose. I mean, it always looks like they throw away the majority of your wardrobe. Even t-shirts! That part always makes me cry a little so then I go to my own closet and pull out my favorite t-shirts to give them long, loving hugs. I'm pretty sure they don't ACTUALLY throw all of your clothes away, probably just the really skanky ones you shouldn't be wearing anyway.

And then! You get your hair cut and styled and they show you how to put on makeup without looking like a tranny clown whore, which is always an important step in any woman's life. Now that I think about it, I'm changing my mind about which show I'd want to be on. Stacy and Clinton are funny and fierce and have that cool (but scary) all-around mirror, but Tim Gunn almost always cries at some point because of how good he made the woman look. Plus also, he gives them better self-esteem and seems like he actually cares about your stupid problems. I don't think Stacy and/or Clinton have ever cried over anyone. Not that I'd turn down either show if someone wanted to submit me for one of them. I would happily parade around in my bra on television if it meant I'd get a shiny new wardrobe.

WINNER: Tim Gunn (duh)

16 comments:

mysterygirl! said...

But on the last Tim Gunn's Guide to Style that I watched, they announced the woman's new, accurate bra size, which would be a bit embarrassing. They would announce mine and then lead me out of La Perla and into the juniors department at J.C. Penney to get one of those beige triangle bras with the little flower in the middle.

Other than this, I think I might agree. I like the NYC wardrobe aspect of WNTW, but you just know that Stacy London is totally chilly in real life, right? A Tim Gunn hug ftw.

Jennie! said...

Hee. I totally agree about Stacy. I don't think I could handle her judge-y face when she saw the number of t-shirts in my closet, but Tim Gunn would just pat my hand and say I was precious.

kat! said...

yeah, i'm on mg! with this one. only it'd probably go in the opposite direction and then jugs would call wanting a photo shoot or something.

NO THANKS.

(also, and i know you're going to die from shock when i tell you this, but i have never seen any of these shows.)

Jennie! said...

kat! what do you have against Jugs? Heh.

Grad School Reject said...

There is some chance this is my favorite comment thread ever.

Also - when Lianne was riding with Tim Gunn on the bicycle built for two? I knew in my heart that if I saw that I would knock Lianne off the bike so that I could pal around with Tim all day.

heather! anne! said...

Is Jugs a real thing?

Jennie! said...

GSR, yes! And when stupid Kenley was mean to him? I wanted to punch her in her stupid face.

h!a! I think so. I can't Google it right now because I'm at work and they don't like me to look at boobies here.

eclectic said...

I don't know who Tim Gunn is, except from reading you guys. I don't watch much TV that doesn't involve the NFL, and I would go with MG to the juniors department if they put me on a show like that. But I swear, if they made you throw away your beloved t-shirts, I would find a way to punch every person involved in the neck!

Beau said...

Gayest Blog Entry Ever.

Jennie! said...

Whatever, don't pretend you didn't like it.

Joe G. said...

FACT: What Not To Wear is a guilty pleasure of mine. I don't enjoy it in an edge of your seat, 'I can't wait to see what happens next and I need to DVR every episode' kind of way, but I do enjoy having it on while I'm doing other things, like filing comics or looking at toys on eBay. And because somethings I think Stacy and Clinton despise each other, and I can't wait to see if they get into a slap fight on the air. (I almost wrote 'fist fight,' but while I could see Stacy throwing a punch, I don't think Clinton would retaliate with a fist - he's definitely an 'open-palm' kind of guy.)

Also, I've learned how to dress a little bit. In the first episode that I ever saw, they redid the wardrobe for a guy! A guy! It was the only time I have ever seen a male 'contestant' on that show, but I learned things from that one episode. And, also, I've learned things from seeing what Clinton wears and realizing that, no, I'm not really ready for powder blue argyle sweater vests. Some day, but not today.

A man has to be extremely confident in his straightness to take part in a discussion about TV makeover shows.

Joe G. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joe G. said...

(I accidentally posted my comment twice. So I deleted the extra one. That's what happened there.)

Ashley said...

Everybody knows the best part of ANTM is the makeover episode. They should just show marathons and marathons of only those episodes.

Jennie! said...

Joe, Clinton is a good person to dress like. He's very dapper.

Ashley, they could just show clip shows of the girls being assholes about their hair and I'd be happy.

Abigail said...

I wish there was a clip show of Jade.