Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I need a Winchester

Last night, I had a nightmare about zombies. This is not unusual. I often have nightmares about zombies. Well. Maybe not often. It's not like it's every other night. But I probably dream about zombies more often than most other people dream about zombies. Anyway. The difference between my nightmare zombies and REAL zombies (yeah, that's right) was that in my nightmare, all the zombies had to do to turn YOU into a zombie was touch you. Which is so unfair, really. Real zombies have to chase you and catch you and bite you. My nightmare zombies just had to get close enough to poke you with their zombie finger or whatever and BOOM, you were a zombie. Also, and this is just conjecture, but I think they could probably like, rip off their arm and throw it at you and if it touched you, you'd turn into a zombie. So in my dream, Simon Pegg was a zombie and he was chasing me around this house trying to turn ME into a zombie and I was all, "Shaun, cut it out, this is NOT COOL," and then I woke up and heard it was raining and got pissed because I'm supposed to go see Death Cab OUTSIDE tonight and even if it stops raining, the ground will be all soggy and I keep meaning to buy a Neat Sheet but I haven't yet so if we try to sit on the ground with the blanket I threw in my car, my butt will get wet and it will look like I peed myself but maybe that keeps zombies from touching you and if so that's awesome because I really don't feel like turning into a zombie today BECAUSE, as I said, it's raining and I bet zombies don't smell very good when they get wet.

12 comments:

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

How do you find time to breathe when typing such sentences?

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

Or paragraph.

Involving soggy zombie-related activities.

Jennie! said...

It just happens. I can't control it. Also, breathing is overrated.

eclectic said...

I don't get why zombies are so scary. I mean, if they're so deadly and all, then it must be great to be one, and if one were chasing me, I'd probably run up and tough it just so I could join all the fun.

Don't worry, my parents never understood me either. They always blamed the red hair for my inexplicable ideas.

eclectic said...

Touch it. Not tough it.

eclectic said...

Also, why don't I proof read BEFORE I hit "publish" instead of after?

I don't know. It must be the red hair.

Jennie! said...

Shari, no offense, but during the zombie revolution, I'm throwing you at them first. Hee.

Abigail said...

Tell me more about this "neat sheet." The website is not convincing me.

Also, Death Cab with a wet butt is better than no Death Cab at all.

eclectic said...

Naturally. No offense taken.

However, then I'd be one more of them chasing you. Unless we could get Heather!Anne! to join us, because if anyone could convince zombies to repent and change their evil face-eating ways, it's Heather!Anne!.

Jennie! said...

Abs, the neat sheet really works! I've only really tested it on damp grass, not super wet grass, though. And we used to spill stuff on my friend Nancy's all the time. I'm pretty sure it all wiped off.

Shar, oooh, I bet you anything she could talk them out of eating our brains.

mysterygirl! said...

Whoa! It's like a tarp you can cuddle with?! That itself might protect you from a zombie attack.

Stephanie said...

Zombification would be much more terrifying if it were just a big game of tag like in your dreams instead of the regular game of munching like it is.