Monday, June 23, 2008

this is an absolutely true (boring) story

Oh my gosh, you guys, do I ever have some exciting news. Hold onto your butts (thank you, Samuel L. Jackson) because this? Is going to be amazing.

I don't know if you know this (but I'm kind of a big deal), but every Monday at Subway is Free Cookie Monday. I try not to make going out to lunch a habit, but I can't resist free cookies. So today, I went to Subway to get my usual (turkey on wheat) and the lady at the cash register was all, "for here or to go?" and I was all, "for here," and then ten seconds later I was all, "did I say here, cause I meant to go," and she gave me this look like, oh you poor sad creature, you are so stupid and then she gave me my chocolate chip cookie and I left. True story. So I got back to the office, put half my sub in the fridge for tomorrow, and checked on my free cookie. You know, to make sure it wasn't afraid, because it was dark inside the bag and everyone knows chocolate chip cookies are afraid of the dark. And lo and behold . . . I looked in the bag . . . and there were TWO COOKIES. TWO FREE COOKIES. TWO FREE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES. Either she thought I was super awesome or she felt sorry for me because I don't know the difference between "here" and "to go." I don't really care. If being completely stupid gets you double free cookies, then I'm going to play dumb more often.

Also, do you ever have those moments where it feels like everyone is staring at you? I totally had one of those at Subway. It was weird and I got all paranoid that I had, like, ink all over my face or my fly was down or something.

Speaking of paranoid . . . I'm dog-sitting for my aunt and uncle this week and they have two dogs. Roxy, who is the greatest dog ever created and Mocha, who is . . . special. She is completely adorable when she's like, sleeping. Or just not barking. Because the barking makes me want to rip off my ears. Last night, she barked and barked and barked while I tried to go to bed. This went on for a long, long time. Not only was it annoying, but it made me wonder if there was someone out in the backyard, waiting for me to go to sleep so they could break in and torment me and kill me. I know that's completely ridiculous, but it just proves once again that Heidi and I should never have gone to see The Strangers.

12 comments:

Abigail said...

Ink all over your face reminds me of the ink thing on Wii Mario Kart. Good story.

Jennie! said...

Abs, the first few times I played Wii Mario Kart, I thought that ink thing was a ghost, and I was all, "Why is that ghost spraying ink everywhere? Ghosts don't do that," because again . . . I am not very smart.

mysterygirl! said...

I would do almost anything for two free chocolate chip cookies. You = lucky.

And maybe you look especially cute today and that was why there was all the staring!

Jennie! said...

mg! I would sell my firstborn for a chocolate chip cookie, only I think I sold my firstborn a long time ago.

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

I went to Subway right after reading this and was just told that there is no such thing as Free Cookie Mondays. So, now I'm eating a roast beef on wheat with a side of heartache and disappointment. It tastes bitter.

Jennie! said...

I'm sorry, Sir. Maybe it's an Ohio thing? Score one for Ohio.

heather! anne! said...

At my last job I ate Subway every single day. Subway will always taste like disappoint me to me now.

eclectic said...

No "free cookie day" here either. Boo. Guess I'll have to make some for myself. The good news there is I can have as many as I want for the same price.

Tam said...

Wow I think people are trying to think up ways to make monday better because Chick Fil A has FREE MILSHAKES from 2-4pm and Logans Steakhouse has 2 meals for $12.99 that night too. cheap/free food is a good way to say, "Yes Monday, you are shitty but at least today I can get fat cheaper." The end.

Abigail said...

Oh Oh! I just remembered something I learned on the internet about restaurants on Monday. a)People don't really eat out on Mondays because they spent too much money over the weekend or ate too much over the weekend. b)Restaurants are busy on the weekends, so they have lots of inventory. Rather than run out of food, they often have too much and then just push it on Monday (rather than getting new food in on Monday). c) If a restaurant is closed on Sunday, you don't want to eat there Monday because it's serving you food leftover from Saturday.

Of course, none of this matters to me because I don't eat at "restaurants" AND Free is Free.

kat! said...

in my head i read mocha as moe-cha. who's the dumb one now?

Andrea said...

I ALWAYS feel like everyone is staring at me at Subway. And also, Blimpies. Any sub restaurant, really, and I'm not sure why.

I kind of want to see The Strangers but I'm afraid it will give me even more of a paranoid complex than I have now. I should probably not see it, right?