Friday, May 30, 2008

I mock you with my monkey pants*

My greatest dream is not, as you might think, to one day own a penguin. It's not that I will one day save the world from zombie domination. It's not even that one day the government will be all, "marry as many people as you want to," and so I will marry John Krasinski AND Jake Gyllenhaal and we'll all live in a house together, sort of like Three's Company but with fewer hijinks. No. My greatest dream has always been that one day, sometime in the future when I'm a grown-up, I will have a book published. I don't even care if it's a terrible book that only my parents buy. I just want to go to the bookstore and be able to see a book WITH MY NAME ON IT.

It scares me, though, when I think that, "oh holy shit, TODAY is the future . . . I AM (technically) a grown up," and I start hyperventilating because I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME! THERE'S NO TIME! THERE'S NEVER ANY TIME!

Then I stop. Close my eyes. Force myself to breathe. And once the threat of passing out has been neutralized, I tell myself to stop being such a lazy asshole and go freaking write already. I've been making myself write at 300 words a day for the past week or two, and wouldn't you know it? I now have 5000 words. OF A WHOLE STORY. And sure, most of these 5000 words are probably complete shit. But it's a start, shitty as it may be, and I suppose that's all I can do.

PS: In slightly related news, look at the shirt Heidi got for me! I am so set to save the world from zombie domination.
*now I am quoting Buffy the Vampire Slayer . . . wtf?

5 comments:

kat! said...

(1) fewer hijinks? it's like i don't even know you;

(2) james dickey didn't start writing until he was, like, forty-something, and i hear he's pretty famous; and

(3) i started reading gatsby last night and was all 'i'm never ever ever ever gonna come anywhere close to this good,' so i decided to stop writing. but this has no bearing on you because you're a way better writer than i am. i just wanted to share.

heather! anne! said...

(1) what Kat said about hijinks.

(2) i am very proud! you are a great writer, and i want a signed copy of anything you write ever.

Stephanie said...

Damnit, I want that shirt. Make Heidi buy me one too.

Jennie! said...

Kat:

1) I know, what was I thinking?
2) Hee, DICKEY.
3) Pfft, PLEASE, you write circles around Fitzgerald.

H!A! thanks, friend. But 300 words is not so many.

Steph, I will pass that info along to Heidi.

mysterygirl! said...

Dude, it's 300 more than I'm writing every day. You should feel good about yourself.