Tuesday, May 20, 2008

"I certainly have not the talent which some people possess," said Darcy, "of conversing easily with those I have never seen before."

I spent most of last night brooding, stopping every now and then to make a loud declaration of some sort while Heidi and Kelly stared at me and then went back to their conversation. It's hard to hear something about yourself that NOT ONLY do you know in the back of your mind is more than a little bit true, but it's also something that you don't so much like about yourself.

I've always been somewhat shy and slow to open up to anyone. Surrounded by new people, I fight the urge to Mr. Darcy myself in a corner somewhere with my arms folded, looking cross. It's something I struggle with in any new situation and even when I DO manage to push Mr. Darcy out of the way, I'm afraid I go a little Chandler Bing instead, throwing jokes around and deflecting personal questions with a mix of sarcasm and self-deprecation. And when THAT doesn't work, I morph into some strange creature that can only speak in movie quotes or relate everything to a TV show. I'm all, "remember that episode of Friends?" which I can only imagine is very annoying when all someone asked me was my name.

But . . . um, remember that episode of Grey's Anatomy? (Hee.) Burke and Cristina are sitting in the car and he's all, "You don't ask a lot of personal questions . . . and you're very hard to get to know," and she's like, "Yeah . . . your point?" I thought, "Hey, I don't ask a lot of personal questions . . . and I'M very hard to get to know," and I'm beginning to realize that maybe that's OK.

15 comments:

peefer said...

Here's something about MYSELF: Every time I see "Wonder Killer", I laugh inside. And if there's food in my mouth, I choke on it.

kat! said...

the more people get to know you, the more ammunition they have.

i'm just sayin'.

peefer said...

I'm like Cristina, too. Except that I have a penis, and she doesn't.

Jennie! said...

peefer, BE. CAREFUL.

kat!, that is an excellent point.

peefer, you're assuming she doesn't.

mysterygirl! said...

I hid in a bathroom at the wedding this weekend because I needed a break from the people. Then I came out, everyone was drunk, and then I seemed sparkling and interesting. I recommend this method of relating to people. Or you could be the one getting drunk, which would also work, and people wouldn't even wonder why you kept changing the subject from their prying questions.

Jennie! said...

Oh, none of this applies if I've been drinking. Then all bets are off.

Tam said...

Who told you its okay to be creepy and weird?

Jennie! said...

Who said I was creepy and weird???

Mom said...

Your mother loves you JUST the way you are dear! Quirkiness and all.

Jennie! said...

Yeah, mom, but you HAVE to love me.

Grad School Reject said...

Aw man - this isn't because of my Medusa comment is it?

Plus - I would love to have an entire conversation that revolved around relating things to episodes of Friends. I think I could go all night (twss - you've totally got me thinking/saying this all the time).

Tony said...

I see no problem with being difficult to get to know. It means that the people who put in the extra effort to know you are extremely worthwhile friends, acquaintances, dates, etc. It almost acts as an auto-sort for your interactions with people.

Jennie! said...

GSR, NO! Your Medusa comment was awesome. Maybe we could have an entire conversation of ONLY Friends quotes. OH. MY. GOD.

Tony, you are my new best friend.

Tony said...

That's not consistent with you being difficult to get to know! Tease.

Jennie! said...

I know, I'm such a liar.