Monday, August 24, 2009

let's pretend like I'm Tracy Jordan and you all are Grizz and Dot Com and basically you tell me how wonderful I am AAAAND GO!

The weather has been so, so nice the past couple of days that I sort of want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant.

[pause for laughter]

Anyway, it's been so nice that I even turned off the AC and opened all the windows and yesterday, I sat on the sofa, embroidered a monkey, tried not to pay too much attention to We Are Marshall on TBS (because of the tears, people, OH THE TEARS!), and sipped on a glass of wine because Abigail told me that it was OK to start drinking. It was pretty much perfection. And now I am at work. That is the opposite of perfection.

Only it's not so bad, because my always-talking coworker is not here today and I decided to randomly come in an hour late and no one cared or noticed (not sure which) and did I mention my always-talking coworker is not here? It is so quiet and lovely today. I want to take the lovely quiet behind the middle school and get it pregnant.

[pause for laughter]

I did manage to be productive this weekend, sort of kind of anyway, because it's not like I did ALL that much, but I did the necessities like vacuuming and laundrying and, you know, showering. I did not work out at all this weekend and I let myself eat whatever I wanted as a reward for making it through The Week From Hell, but this week I'm back on the wagon. So far, anyway. I'm afraid this week might turn into The Week From Hell Part Two: The Hellinating, especially since I came in this morning only to find that the air conditioning isn't working. Luckily, it's not that hot outside, but still...it's super stuffy in here and kind of smells like a fart. Which, you know, is sort of gross. But whatever, this training is supposed to be over by the end of August so I'm looking forward to sweet, sweet September because it will all be over OVER! OVER! and also September is when Labor Day happens and I don't have to work on Labor Day which means three day weekend and I love three day weekends so much I want to take them behind the middle school and get them pregnant.

[pause for laughter]

I've been feeling this great need to be more organized and productive, which is making me sort of crazy (crazier) because I keep making lists and spreadsheets and more lists and more spreadsheets and starting stories and revising other stories and starting more stories and what I'm saying is my Google Docs are out of control. But I don't care because I have my beautiful, beautiful spreadsheets. I want to take my spreadsheets behind the middle school and get them pregnant.

[crickets]

Too much? Yeah, I know, too much. I don't really know where to end this, which is the problem with pointless posts SUCH AS THIS ONE so I guess I'll keep talking until I run out of things to say only NO I WON'T because I NEVER run out of things to say, just ask Joe. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go update my Budget spreadsheet. I think there might be a problem with it, because according to my spreadsheet I should have no monies left for the rest of August, but I do have monies left, so I should probably look into that. Also, you know what? I should spend less monies. I knew that before the spreadsheet but the spreadsheet just made it all the more obvious, what with the BOLD RED print that basically screams, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JENNIE, BACK AWAY FROM TARGET RIGHT THE HELL NOW."

My budget is kind of rude. I do not want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant.

Zing!

9 comments:

kat said...

repetition is indeed the key to comedy :)

Abigail said...

JENNIE! I love talking about budgets! Also, I have that problem sometimes with the leftover monies. One time it happened in a month where I get an extra paycheck so that's what the money was but it was like I had it THREE WEEKS before the technically extra paycheck. Because of how I spend or something. It was very confusing.

Jennie! said...

kat, WELL, then I am hilarious. Heh.

Abs, we need to have budget talks. I love talking about my spreadsheets but I don't think Joe wants to hear any more about them.

kat said...

did i tell you guys about the time i tried to sign up for mint, but then mint didn't want to play with ING and that was kind of a dealbreaker for me?

no?

i probably should have left it that way, because this isn't a very interesting comment.

Jennie! said...

I signed up for Mint a long time ago and it sometimes sends me emails but I just ignore them. Which isn't very nice, I know, but it keeps yelling at me and who wants to be yelled at?

Abigail said...

Yeah, sometimes Mint doesn't play well with others. But they're working on it. Like a few months ago one of my accounts didn't work and now it does! Also, the forums help.

Tam said...

Jennie, miss har said you took her behind a middle school and tried to get her pregnant.

Thanks for cat sitting.

Except for that one part.

Jennie! said...

She wasn't supposed to tell.

mysterygirl! said...

I won't sign up for Mint because I'm pretty sure that all my expendable income is put toward cocktails and hair highlighting, and that's too much for me to bear.

Yay for no alwaystalkingcoworker today!