Monday, May 11, 2009

I love my dead gay son

I am an anger ball today, which is pretty standard for a Monday, but ESPECIALLY for a Monday after a really good weekend.

(If you're wondering why I don't blog anymore, it's because I can't come up with anything new to say and SO, I keep posting the same drivel. I've had a blog for like five years, people, and I'M RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO TALK ABOUT. Sorry.)

Any. Way. I had a busy weekend, I suppose, although I didn't do anything especially productive. On Friday, I ate spicy buffalo balls and thought my stomach lining was melting away. You'd think that would have stopped me from eating all manner of junk food (hamburger, popcorn, peanuts, cookie, nachos, ice cream) yesterday at the ballpark, but it didn't. I'm not so good at the learning from mistakes thing that most people learn in kindergarten or whatever.

THE REASON I was at the ballpark was because my family rented a suite so we got to pretend to be big time while we watched the Dayton Dragons get absolutely crushed by . . . someone. I just now realized I have no idea who they were playing. I didn't know until about the sixth inning though that the Dragons were getting their asses kicked, so that's about par for the course, I'd say.

So, they lost. But I got to eat delicious junk food and drink delicious beer, so really, does it matter who wins or loses? No. Because everyone's a winner when I'm happy.

Some other good stuff happened this weekend. Like, I introduced Joe to the beauty that is Heathers. And I successfully ran on a treadmill for thirty minutes without falling off, but only because I didn't allow myself to look anywhere but straight ahead. That didn't stop me from being able to see some seriously weird activity, though. Like, MythBusters was on TV, but I couldn't hear anything because I had my iPod on and at one point, I decided the show was even better on mute because Adam was dressed as a cavewoman and I had lots of fun trying to figure out why. There was also this couple working out together. When I got there, she was on one of the two treadmills and he was using the weight machines. I think he got pissed when I came in because I took the other treadmill, but WHATEVER DOUCHE, did you mark the treadmill with your urine? No? Then step off.

Right, so I got on the treadmill and the woman next to me was all run fast, walk slow, run fast, walk slow, and the guy was using the weight machines ALL WRONG but he was really skinny so maybe it was his first time using weight machines. He kept walking all around my treadmill, too, while I was running, and I wasn't sure if he was like, walking off a cramp, or trying to intimidate me to fall (jerk), but it didn't work. Finally, after some discussion, the woman got off of her treadmill and got on the bike so her husband/boyfriend could use the treadmill. Which, yeah, I guess that's nice but I'd never do that (sorry, Joe) because I HAVE A RUNNING SCHEDULE THAT I MUST STICK TO. Anyway, I stayed on the treadmill longer than I needed to JUST BECAUSE so the guy was done running before I was. Then? He got off the treadmill and just stood there next to it and his wife/girlfriend WIPED OFF THE MACHINE FOR HIM. And did I mention he was just standing there? That's weird, right? Right?

Know what else is weird? That this entry hasn't ended yet, even though I clearly have nothing else to say. But I'm going to keep writing, OK? OK.

I believe I mentioned above that I'm in a shitty mood, yes? Well, in case you forgot: I'm in a shitty mood. Only not really anymore, because I ate my lunch (maybe low blood sugar was making me a bitch) and I also talked to Joe AND ALSO Heidi told me Lampl and Jon are coming over tonight (yay!) AND ALSO even though the people at Subway were totally incompetent AND they neglected free cookie Monday, it gave me something to complain about and I heart complaining. So there's that.


Tam said...

neglecting free cookie day is a federal offense.

Also you forgot to mention how much I hate the person from Thailand who is stalking my blog with searches for "sex"

I'm cranky too.

Julie G. said...

Did you see my dad at the Dragon's game? No, wait, you don't know my dad. Well, if you happened to have been in the gift shop and saw an old guy and wondered why there was an old guy working in the gift shop when it seems to be run by high school girls, that's my dad.

In winter, he's Santa.

vahid said...

I've always found your "nothing to say" at least five times more entertaining than most people's attempts at "something to say." Please, keep it up.

Jennie! said...

Tam, sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays.

Julie G., I did go in the gift shop! But I don't remember seeing an old guy. I will look again, because I'm going to another game on Friday.

Vahid, I will try to come up with nothing to post more often. Heh.

peefer said...


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