STOP. Collaborate and LISTEN.

I sure wish I knew why I've had Ice Ice Baby stuck in my head all morning. Oh well.

The problem with not blogging for HOLY SHIT almost a week (other than my Dad giving me shit for not blogging) is that, by the time I get around to blogging, too much has happened and I don't know where to start. So I just don't write about any of it. No more! I mean, that's really unfair to deprive you of all the details from my every waking hour. And sometimes my non-waking hours. Anyway, this is what I did this weekend:

• went to a going away party for Lampl and Jon
• ate at McAllister's and DRANK SWEET TEA
• tried to play pool
• failed
• drank beers and ate taco dip
• went to the pool
• twice
• went out to dinner
• twice
• went to a cookout
• ate lots of mac and cheese and ribs and broccoli salad
• went to the nature reserve
• did not get eaten by bugs

And, I don't know, other stuff. Memorial Day weekend already seems so long ago. Why is that?

I forgot to tell you guys about this awesome conversation Heidi and I had the other day. It was pretty spectacular. Here is what I remember of it:

Heidi: You know how when we go over the speed bumps in the parking lot, we go sort of between them so only one side of the car goes over them?
Me: Yes.
Heidi: But if there's a car coming from the other direction, we don't do that and we just go over the speed bumps like normal so we don't block the way?
Me: Sure.
Heidi: Well. Remember that girl with the Alaska plates who blocked the dumpster that one time when she was trying to shove a bike in her trunk*?
Me: Yes!
Heidi: Well, I was coming toward a speed bump and she was coming the other way, and she was doing that thing where you go between the speed bumps even though I was there! I had to wait for her to get across.
Me: WTF?
Heidi: I know. It was so rude.
Me: To be fair, she's from Alaska and is used to just driving around igloos.
Heidi: And away from Sarah Palin.
Me: Yeah, because Sarah Palin is shooting at her. From a helicopter.
Heidi: "Oh, look at that moose! I want it for my wall!"
Me: "That sure is a shiny moose!"

Obviously, those last two statements were said in our best Sarah Palin impressions, although my Sarah Palin impression is less a Sarah Palin impression and more a Tina-Fey-as-Sarah-Palin impression, but whatever.

*I hope you have a big trunk . . . cause I'm puttin' my BIKE in it.