Tuesday, July 15, 2008

everything it seems I like's a little bit sweeter, a little bit fatter, a little bit harmful for me

Hey, guys. How's it going? Good? I'm glad. I know I've been ignoring you lately and I'm afraid it's not going to get any better. It's just that this summer has exploded with awesomeness and I'm busy. Really busy. You know. Seeing movies and going to wedding-related functions and next weekend? Celebrating Christmas-in-July up north with some friends. I could tell you exactly where, but I just like saying "up north." Not like Canada north, I'm afraid, but north of here. Oh my god, Jennie, shut up.

I went to two cookouts this past weekend. TWO. In two days. TWO DAYS. The weekend before I last I went to two cookouts ON THE SAME DAY. I'm not going to lie to you, I LOVE COOKOUTS. But if I continue to eat cookout food at the rate I am currently eating it, I will weigh 800 pounds by the end of the summer. And then I'd have to get one of those little motorized scooters to carry me around and I can't afford one of those.

Um. Anyway. The cookout on Saturday was for Heidi's friend's wedding. They got married a couple weeks ago and their reception was this giant cookout and IT WAS DELICIOUS. They put Rock Em Sock Em Robots on top of the cake instead of a tiny bride and groom. I approve of this. I approved of the cookout, too, until I ate a giant piece of chocolate wedding cake and felt like vomiting for the rest of the day. I don't care. It was worth it.

The cookout on Sunday was for all the volunteers and kids and parents from, um, the place I volunteer. I was put in charge of bringing some water balloons, so Joe and I turned the kitchen into a water balloon factory and I had to take the picture over the sink down because we sort of got water EVERYWHERE. It could have been worse, I suppose. Like, we put all the balloons into the laundry basket and say I'd accidentally dropped a bunch of safety pins in the laundry basket, causing a horrible water-balloon-exploding effect that soaked the entire apartment, including Phoebe. That would have been worse.

At the actual cookout, the water balloons lasted approximately 3.4 minutes once the kids saw them. And they had these long stick things (heh) that you fill up with water and shove one end in and water shoots out the other. I'd never seen them before, but the kids played with them for the entire time and most of them looked like they'd jumped in a pool with all of their clothes on which is CRAZY WHO WOULD DO THAT? Oh, wait, actually I have done that. Hmm. Anyway, I also met an undertaker. He was . . . interesting. He told us that their funeral home now cremates pets and one of their best customers (his words) is this lady who has 68 cats. Yeah, you read that right. 68 cats. She has a separate house for them. Yeah, you read that right.

PS: Have you wished Kat happy birthday yet? Don't be rude, Internets.

11 comments:

kat! said...

i wish there was an actual water balloon factory. i would apply for a job there post haste.

Jennie! said...

ME TOO. It would almost as good as the tying-balloon-animals-to-firecrackers factory.

heather! anne! said...

When you said you were going up north, I was like, "Um, she is up north."

I would also like to win a golden ticket to that water balloon factory!

Jennie! said...

As soon as it's open, I'm sending out golden tickets.

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

Rock Em Sock Em Robots on the wedding cake = Awesome.

Water balloons = Awesome.

Cookouts = Awesome.

Woman w/ 68 cats she keeps in a separate house = Awesomely insane in the membrane (yes, going insane, got no brain, etc.).

Abigail said...

wow, i haven't filled water balloons in ten years, probably. i need to remedy that.

do they make biodegradable balloons yet? i don't want to hurt the birdies.

mysterygirl! said...

The Collective needs to have a water balloon fight at their next meeting. I, on the other hand, kind of suck at water balloon fights because I throw like a girl.

Jim said...

The cat lady house is on my way to work. That is if it is the same cat lady. There is a separate house for the cats and you should see the amount of trash cans every week. This week there was a shredded couch. Good story.

Dad

Grad School Reject said...

In the movie Sweet Home Alabama they put "Rock em Sock em Robots" on a wedding cake at the very end. You'd think as a man I'd be ashamed to have (a) seen "Sweet Home" and (b) actually remembered the movie, but then you would actually be wrong. I have no shame (see drunk Friends comment from the weekend).

Jennie! said...

Sir, that comment = awesome.

Abs, I don't know, I was worried about the birds, too. So I walked around after the kids and picked up broken balloons.

mg! I can't throw, either. Well, I can throw, but I can't hit anything.

Dad, does she ever stand on the side of the road and throw cats at passing cars?

GSR, that drunk Friends comment was the greatest comment of my life.

peefer said...

Happy Birthday kat!