last post of November PLUS 10 on Tuesday

So. I won NaNoWriMo. I finished writing 50,000 words yesterday, verified it on the NaNo site, and was proclaimed a winner, but I didn't feel like one. I actually felt very meh about it and I think it's because I didn't really care about my story at all. I only finished it out of spite, really, because I wanted to say I won. It's finished in that it's more than 50,000 words long, but it's not finished in that it comes to a satisfying ending. And it probably never will because it's SO BAD that I never want to think about it again. Note to self: don't start knocking up characters and having others make out and letting people get kidnapped by bad guys JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN. Anyway. NaNo is over and, once I post this, NaBlo is also over so I'm left feeling all, "now what?"

Well, right now, "now what" means 10 on Tuesday so...that's something, I guess. Wah wah waaaaaah.

1. Where are you from? Have you lived there your whole life?

I am from Narnia or Hogwarts or Terabithia, which really means I live inside my head and, yes, I've lived there my whole life.

2. How would you classify your clothing style?

Half-assed.

3. What kind of car do you drive?

A blue one.

4. What would your dream home look like if you could have it (or already do!)?

It would look like Hogwarts, obviously. And it would have a time machine (with a clear titanium bubble) in the garage.

5. Do you have kids, and if so, how many and how old were you when you had them?

I don't have any that I know of.

6. What is your favorite hobby?

I would say reading, but reading is more of a necessity to me than a hobby in that I NEED IT TO LIVE.

7. Are you going to have any New Year’s resolutions for 2011?

Probably.

8. What is something, if anything, that you’d want to change about yourself?

Well, I wish I could fly, if that's what you mean.

9. What is something that you love about yourself?

I hate these questions.

10. Pick one of the following: Someone to cook for you, someone to do your laundry, or someone to do your dishes.

All of the above, duh.

YOU GUYS

I would like to share with you the funniest thing I have ever seen, courtesy of The Soup. You're welcome. Trust me...just...you're welcome.

Buddy the elf, what's your favorite color?

Decorating, DONE.

this is me blogging

Because I almost forgot to blog today. Blog blog blog blogging blog blog.

PS: the peppermint Joe Joe's ARE THE GREATEST COOKIE EVER MADE. I want to buy them for everyone I know.

Black Friday

So it's like the number one shopping day of the entire year or whatever and here is what I've purchased:

a case of wine
salsa
tortilla chips
a wedge of cheese
crackers
peppermint Joe-Joes
a cafe mocha

I'm pretty pleased with all of it.

Happy Slapsgiving, everybody!

I don't want to freak anyone out but I think my superpowers might be coming in, because last night, Joe and I were sitting on the couch and reading and I started whistling this:



And then Joe left and I turned on the TV and Aladdin was on and THAT EXACTLY SONG WAS ABOUT TO START YOU GUYS I'M TOTALLY PSYCHIC! I wonder if my new psychic powers will ever start telling me anything important. Not that finding Aladdin on TV isn't important. If I hadn't found Aladdin on TV then I wouldn't have looked at the TiVo guide and seen that Beauty & the Beast was on after Aladdin. That's totally important.

So, today I am thankful for my psychic powers. Because it's Thanksgiving. See what I did there?

I was on that island for what seems like an eternity. I want to enjoy things on the other side.

OK, so I pretty much still have no idea what to write about for NaBloMe but I have about 10,000 words left to NaNo so I'm calling today a win. Anyway, apparently there's this thing called Ten on Tuesday and I don't even care that it's Wednesday, I'm doing it today SO THERE, INTERNET, HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?

Before I get to the questions, I do have some thoughts about recent pop culture events.

1. Hurley was on How I Met Your Mother and IT. WAS. AWESOME.

2. I've been reading The Walking Dead graphic novels but I have to take frequent breaks because the dialogue, you guys...the dialogue is so bad that it's distracting and I hate it because it's ruining the story. The way the characters talk is, like, not how real people talk or have ever talked in the history of humanity. Also! The female characters are just awful. Actually, most of the male characters aren't that great, either. I know it sounds like I'm not enjoying the series and...that's just because I'm not sure I am.

3. Speaking of The Walking Dead, I love the TV show. Like, a lot, even though watching it makes me all tense and sometimes also like I want to vomit. But wtf, why are all of these survivors CAMPING?! Tents don't even keep out bears, why would they think they might keep out zombies? I don't care how far away from the city they are, they are OUTSIDE. Zombies are outside. Go inside, dumbasses, and lock the doors! It's like no one in zombie movies (...TV shows, whatever) has ever seen a zombie movie before.

Anyway, Ten on Tuesday stolen from here.

1. If you won the lottery, what would be your one random, off-the-wall purchase?

Penguin. And penguin habitat.

2. What is popular now that you just don’t get?

Two and a Half Men (duh). Taylor Swift. Jersey Shore. Dancing with the Stars. Sarah Palin. Mind-boggling stupidity.

3. What would your last meal, you know, if you were ever about to be executed and you got to choose that sort of thing?

Chimichangas with quacamole and rice and chips and salsa and margarita. Side of mashed potatoes. What, it's my last meal, I DO WHAT I WANT.

4. When is it okay to start listening to Christmas music?

I used to say after Thanksgiving, but I started listening to it a few days ago so clearly the week of Thanksgiving is now OK.

5. How do you feel about facial hair on men?

Big fan.

6. McDonald’s or Burger King? Those are the only two options.

Fuck you, I pick Wendy's.

7. What kind of soap do you use?

Whatever's on sale?

8. What movie can you watch over and over and never get tired of?

SO MANY. Bridget Jones's Diary. Pride and Prejudice. You've Got Mail. The Princess Bride. Shaun of the Dead. Mary Poppins. Goonies.

9. Favorite beverage?

Dude, I don't care.

10. What do you want for Christmas?

I already got a puppy. WHAT ELSE COULD I POSSIBLY WANT?

I am a bathroom martian. Beep. Boop. Boop. I am from the nebula of the great toilet.

Hypothetically, which is worse: putting on your underwear inside out or not noticing that your underwear is on inside out for like, the whole day?

I'm not asking for any specific reason OH NO I'M NOT. I'm definitely not asking because I put my underwear on inside out yesterday and even if I did, it's definitely the first time that's ever happened I'VE NEVER EVER DONE THAT BEFORE SHUT UP YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING.

Why am I writing about my underwear, right-side-out or inside-out, you might ask? It's because I have NOTHING ELSE TO WRITE ABOUT. NaNoWriMo is taking up all of my words, all the words that I've ever had in my head, and they're not even good words! Seriously! I sort of hate my novel (IT'S SO BAD) and the only reason I'm still writing it is because I said I would win and so win I shall.

I am eating the biggest grapes right now, you guys. THEY ARE SO BIG THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

Last night, Max did a funny dog thing (hahaha funny dogs are funny) only it wasn't really funny, it was annoying because I was trying to sleep. Want to know why I was trying to sleep? Cause it was 2 in the morning. Anyway, I don't know if the storm woke him up or what but I got up to go to the bathroom, and when I came back, he was standing by my side of the bed, wiggling his little body to and fro as if it were time to get up for the day. And I was all, "IT IS NOT TIME TO GET UP FOR THE DAY GET IN YOUR BED!" but all he heard was, "I AM SAYING WORDS TO YOU SO YOU WAG YOUR TAIL HARDER SO PLEASE WAG YOUR TAIL HARDER AND MAYBE HOP UP AND DOWN A FEW TIMES SO I CAN SEE HOW CUTE YOU ARE!"

This, plus Phoebe's nightly attempts to curl up in the small space above my head on my pillow (THERE IS NO ROOM FOR YOU, CAT) and also all the windy windy rain, meant I did not sleep very well last night. But I don't care because it's almost that special time of year where it's totally acceptable for me to eat three heaping platefuls of mashed potatoes which, coincidentally, is why Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.

BLEEEEEEEEEH

You guys! I don't wanna blog or write anymore this month! I don't wanna! I want to quit so hard right now.

Does this count as blogging? Yes, yes it does. I'm still winning. So THERE, November.

I've got a theory...it could be bunnies!

Hey. Here are some pictures that Joe and I drew on napkins at a restaurant one time. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Phoning it in, before I forget to post (SPOILERS, AHOY)

Parts of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 1) that made me cry:

1. Hedwig! It was even sadder than the book HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?
2. Hermione wiping her parents' memories...good lord.
3. Everyone fretting over (St.) George.
4. Harry finding his parents' graves.
5. Dobby. Effing Dobby.

Parts of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 1) that made my heart melt:

1. Ron's face as Hermione taught him how to play the piano.
2. Hermione's face when Ron told them how he found them.
3. These will actually all just be Hermione and Ron related, so I'll stop now.

Parts of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 1) that made me feel icky:

1. Harry and Hermione dancing, until it got goofy.
2. Harry and Hermione topless-making-out in Ron's scary waking nightmare thing. Gross. I need to wash my eyes with bleach.

We mustn't dwell. No, not today. We CAN'T. Not on Rex Manning day!

Most evenings, I spend a little time picking out what I'm going to wear the following day. It saves time in the morning, it really does, which is awesome because A) it means I'm on time for work (...most of the time) and B) it means I get to sleep as long as possible.

I forget sometimes, though, and on those days I think about what I'm going to wear while I'm getting ready because then, by the time I'm about to get dressed, I know exactly what clothes I need to rip out of my closet. This morning, I thought I knew what I was going to wear and I was like, "oh, hell yeah, snooze button!" but when I woke up, I realized in horror that I couldn't possibly wear what I was planning to wear because DUN DUN DUUUUUN the shirt I was planning on wearing was way too close to Slytherin colors! I can't wear Slytherin colors today! Not on Harry Potter Day!

So instead, I'm wearing a maroon shirt because obviously I need to show my support for Gryffindor and I didn't have time to make a Luna-Lovegood-Lion-Head. I told Joe about this when I woke up, and it went something like this, "I almost wore this green shirt today but then I realized it was Slytherin colors! SLYTHERIN! So I had to change it real fast and wear this shirt so I was wearing Gryffindor colors! GRYFFINDOR! IT'S HARRY POTTER DAY!" and he looked at me like I was nusto bananas (standard) and I was like, "You collect toys and comics LET ME HAVE THIS ONE THING," and he was all, "calm down, psycho," because he wasn't really looking at me like I'm nusto bananas (much), it was that he had just woken up and I was all awake and talking REALLYREALLYFAST like the micromachine guy. Remember the micromachine guy? He was on Saved by the Bell one time. True story.

Also, in other Harry Potter news, I totally won the bet. I finished Deathly Hallows around 9 last night, and that was even after I had to take a break because I was crying. That book gives me so much sad, especially toward the end, and I usually get to a certain point where I can't read anymore because of all the tears. Stupid feelings.

GRYFFINDOR!!!!11!!1!!!!1!

We're having a FIRE!!! ...(sale)

Oh, man, check it out, you guys. I found the beginning of my NaNo story from 2005. That year, I wrote for two days. I am doing way better this year. At least as far as wordcount. I can't speak to the quality but WHATEVER. NaNo will soon be my bitch. And so will Harry Potter (the books, not the person). I just can't help thinking how nice it'll be next week when I've won the bet and have all this extra time to write while Joe is making me dinner. Hee.

Anyway, here's my 2005 story, all...like, one chapter of it. This totally counts as blogging today because you guys have never read it before. I WIN. WARNING: the following is pretty bad but what else are you going to do? Work? I don't think so.




The worst part about my car accident, and I do mean this, was the unfortunate fact that I was listening to The Backstreet Boys when it happened. I have a hazy memory of paramedics lifting me out of the driver’s seat while “I Want it That Way,” blasted from the car stereo. The part of the memory that I’m hoping did not happen was me singing along. Unfortunately, since the paramedics kept referring to me as “Backstreet Girl,” I have a feeling I did not make that up. Par for the course.

Most people don’t think that’s the worst thing that happened to me. When I told my brother that, Mike surreptitiously glanced at the wheelchair I’d been tethered to since the accident.

“I know,” I said. “I can’t move my legs, blah, blah, but come on. THE BACKSTREET BOYS.”

He sighed and shook his head. “You’re right, that is pretty bad.”

“I mean, N’Sync would have been a little bit less embarrassing. At least Justin Timberlake turned out not to be just some no-talent, bloated, singing douchebag --,” I started.

“Nice,” Mike interrupted.

“But Nick Carter? Howie D? That’s just sad. And why do I know their names?”

“That is an intriguing question.”

“Jesus.”

“Yep, pretty much,” Mike said. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something else, but closed it. He did this a few more times before he noticed I’d seen him.

“Hey, FishBoy, what’s up?”

“I’m not supposed to tell you. Mom told me it would embarrass you,” he said.

“Is it more embarrassing than The Backstreet Boys?” I asked.

“Alex. I am telling you. You don’t want to know.”

“Oh, just tell me! I can handle it,” I said, and straightened the blanket over my legs.

“Well,” he looked down. “Apparently you confessed your love to one of the paramedics.”

“Oh shut up! I did not,” I could feel my face redden.

“You so did. He was quite smitten, I think. He came to visit you when you were . . . out.”

“Oh, damn. That’s hot,” I said.

“Ok, Paris. So are you embarrassed?”

“I’m so not,” I contended, trying to will my face to return to a normal color.

“You’re face is pretty red and --”

“Shut it, I’m not.”

“Ok, Ok. Listen,” he said. “I’ve gotta go to work but I’ll come back tomorrow.”

“Sure, no problem,” I said. “Have they said when I can leave yet?”

“Alex . . .”

“I’m just so sick of this place,” I said, blinking away tears. “Ha, get it? Sick of it?”

“Hilarious,” Mike said and grasped my hand. “They want to keep you here for physical therapy, at least at first. They think it will help.”

“Right, I know,” I said and wiped my eyes. “Go! Go to work or you’ll be late and get fired and end up unemployed like me.”

“Oh, shut up,” he laughed. “See you later. Love you.”

“Love you, too, sissy.”

His laughter followed him out of my room and then I was left in silence. Well, kind of. The hospital is freaking loud. I mean, when you think about the last time you visited someone in the hospital, you were probably only there for a couple of hours, at most. It wasn’t that loud, was it? But when you live here, loudness takes a different form. It’s relative. Sure, there aren’t fire alarms and air horns going off in the hallway, but when a place is that quiet even the softest noise is jarring. The beeping of the machines, the rattle of the food carts, nurses laughing, it all gets very annoying eventually.

Luckily, I don’t hear many people crying. I’m not on that floor, not anymore, and when I was I wasn’t aware of much of anything so the most sadness I’ve had to deal with are the looks of pain and guilt in my mother’s eyes. Which makes me feel guilty. Which makes me sad, which makes her sad and it’s all just a vicious, annoying cycle of sadness.

At least I’ve gotten to catch up on my reading. You know that list of the 100 books you’re supposed to read before you die? I’m on number 57. Also, I haven’t had to shave my legs in like, forever. It’s kind of disgusting, sure, but if anyone stares or says anything it makes them the bad guy because I’ve got bigger problems. Ha. Jerks.

This hospital does have a pretty sweet entertainment hookup. What I mean is, they have a TV and they let my brother bring in a DVD player to hook to it. I can quote the entire first season of Arrested Development, which I’m sure is a talent I can add to my resume.

My favorite pastime here, though, has to be sleeping. If you do it during the day you can say you’re napping. But, you can also go to bed at 7:30 and not get up until noon the next day. Then you can take a nap after lunch. Really, if you think about it, you can spend the entire day sleeping and no one would really know. Or care, because, hey, you’re in a hospital, what else are you supposed to do. Maybe I can get a candy striper uniform so I’ll have something to do.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think it’s naptime.

Jennie Baxla and the Severe Tire Damage

Here is how last night was supposed to go: leave work, go to volunteering, go home, eat a nutritious dinner, read Harry Potter, go to sleep.

Here is how it happened instead: left work, ran into something hella crazy in the road, got a flat tire, called AAA, waiting in rainy parking lot, drove car to (closed) Tire Discounters, ate Donatos for dinner instead of healthy chicken, read Harry Potter, stayed up to late, went to sleep.

The tire damage part of it happened like this:



I had to draw a picture because I'm having trouble explaining to people exactly what happened. But I'll try. For what are we without words? Animals, I guess. Except some animals can talk. Like parrots. And gorillas. They talk with their hands sometimes. Anyway.

I was seriously five minutes away from volunteering and not late or anything, so I wasn't even speeding (for once). It was raining pretty hard and the road was all shiny. Not good shiny like in Firefly, but bad shiny as in POOR VISIBILITY. And I was driving through construction and the lane kept going all topsy turvy and different directions so sometimes I don't think I was even in a lane, and as I went through the intersection all of the sudden there was this cement curb island thing RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME and so I swerved but not enough and I totally ran over it AND THEN MY CAR FLIPPED OVER AND OVER BUT I LANDED RIGHT SIDE UP AND PULLED INTO AN ALLSTATE PARKING LOT OH YEAH FIRE FIRE EXPLOSION GRYFFINDOR! Oh wait, the Gryffindor thing...I will that explain later.

It all happened just like that except for the fire and explosion. I sat in the parking lot for a moment, all shaky, and then called the cavalry (Joe and AAA). In my heart, I hoped that AAA could fix the tire but in my head I knew it was effed. Sure enough, when the tow truck arrived and he took the tire off, the wheel was all bent and shit and apparently wheels are never, ever supposed to be bent and shit. So the AAA guy put my spare on and then put air in the spare because why wouldn't my spare be almost flat, too? What, like I'm suppose to be prepared? Eff that, you guys. Then the AAA guy told me how much money he'd made in six months and how he was excited for it to snow because it meant he'd make even more money and I was like, "Dude, I know your job depends on the misfortune of others but could you try not to sport so much wood when you talk about it? Especially next to my poor, poor car? She's already traumatized enough."

But. OK. So as I was waiting for AAA to get there, a van pulled into a parking spot near me. I spied on them (obviously) and they got out of the car to look at their front passenger side tire and I was like, "huh," but I stayed in my car because it was raining and cold outside. Then the tow truck got there and the Van Guy came over to my car and this happened:

Van Guy: Is there something wrong with your car?
Jennie's Brain: Um, there's a tow truck here, wtf do you think?
Jennie Out Loud: Yeah, I got a flat tire.
Van Guy: Did you run over that thing in the road back there by the gas station?
Jennie's Brain: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT, ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?
Jennie Out Loud: Yes! Did that happen to you, too?
Van Guy: Sure did.

Then he started talking to my tow truck driver and I was all, "THAT'S MY TOW TRUCK DRIVER! STOP BOGARTING MY TOW TRUCK GUY!" and then the tow truck driver told us that whatever we'd both hit had caused an accident last week. Way to go, Dayton. Anyway, around this time, I noticed that the Van Guy was wearing a Gryffindor shirt.

Jennie's Brain: OMG, he's wearing a Gryffindor shirt!
Jennie Out Loud: I like your shirt, guy.
Jennie's Brain: BETTER BE...GRYFFINDOR!

The end.

The worst thing about prison was the dementors.

1. It is misty and gloomy today, I think probably because there are dementors around or something. As I do not (yet) have a magic wand, I cannot produce a Patronus to get rid of them. Sorry. I will work on this.

2. When I was on my way home from work yesterday, I pulled up behind a car with the following bumper stickers: "JUST BE NICE" and "If only those with closed minds also had closed mouths." Then a truck pulled up next to that car. The truck had the following bumper stickers: "OBUMMA," "YOU LIE" (with the O being, of course, the Obama O), and "Undocumented Worker" next to a picture of Obama. CHARMING. It made me sigh a lot.

3. Slightly related to #2 (heh), I would like to start a religion based on the JUST BE NICE bumper sticker. Because, OMG people, JUST BE FUCKING NICE TO EACH OTHER.

project(s) update = yaaaaawn

Hey, look at that, it's November 15th, which means the month is HALF OVER. How did that happen? November seems to be the month of projects or something and I figured since the month is half over, I'd report on my progress. STAY TUNED FOR EXCITEMENT, EVERYONE. And by excitement, I mean this will be really boring, probably, but try and stay awake, will you? Thanks.

NaBloPoMo: Well, I've posted every day, so technically it's going fine but I feel like I'm cheating because the quality of my posts...well...let's just say there have been a lot of Youtube videos.

Harry Potter Read-a-thon: I am so gonna win. I'm about halfway done with Half-Blood Prince. I don't anticipate Dealthy Hallows taking very long because once I get to a certain point, I am physically unable to put the book down.

NaNoWriMo: I am almost to the halfway point. I think I'm a couple thousand words away from 25,000, so I'm hopeful that I can write a little extra each day and finish on time. Once I'm done with Harry Potter, I should have a lot more time to write.

30 Days of Harry Potter: Um, I've missed a ton of days on this. So here, really quick, are my answers to the questions I've missed so far. Oopsies.

Favorite magical creature

Buckbeak!

Favorite professor

Loony Loopy Lupin!

Who would you want to be friends with at Hogwarts?

Luna Lovegood!

What pet would you want to have? (owl, cat, rat or toad)

Owl!

Favorite spell

Accio all my crap! I'm lazy so this one would be perfect.

Top 3 least favorite characters

I hate Umbridge enough to count for three people, so Umbridge, Umbridge, Umbridge!

Max hoped Mary would write again. He'd always wanted a friend. A friend that wasn't invisible, a pet, or rubber figurine.

You guys. Joe and I watched this movie last night and it gave me Pixar-level FEELINGS. I thought it was just going to be, like, funny and cute but IT MADE ME CRY. How dare you, movie. Anyway, I highly recommend it, if you're looking to cry...like, in a good way.

Nobody reads blogs on the weekend so here are some baby otters

that's why her blog is so big, it's full of youtube

Joe and his brother, Mike, got all of us tickets to see Straight No Chaser for their dad's birthday. And so, last night, after rushing home from work and a scarfed-down-dinner at Arby's, we met Joe's parents, Mike, and Mike's wife (hi, Julie!) in Cincinnati.

The only reason I'd ever heard of Straight No Chaser was because the All Christmas Radio Station played the shit out of their Christmas medley last year. Like, I couldn't NOT hear it because it was all over the place. This is it:



So yes, they are an a cappella group, and, as I have a secret love of a cappella groups (which explains my love for Andy Bernard), I was cautiously excited about the concert. They opened by singing Joy to the World by Three Dog Night and I was all, "meh." Luckily, the show got better throughout the first half of the concert and when the second half came around, I sort of thought maybe it was tailored just for me because they sang a Lady Gaga medley:



Coldplay:



JOURNEY! I couldn't find a good video of them singing it, so here:



Oasis (!!!EXCLAMATION POINT TIMES A MILLION):



And you guys. Then this happened:



The only thing that could have made that better is if someone had done the Turk dance. But they didn't, so here you go:



They also did a kid cartoon theme song medley, but it was kind of a disappointment because they included Family Guy and The Simpsons, which are NOT for kids. And they didn't include Ducktales. Or Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers. Or Muppet Babies. Or Fraggle Rock, which isn't a cartoon, but still would have been perfect. But they said they do a sitcom medley. I just looked it up, though, and it's still not better than this one (you know it has to be good, because he sings the Two and a Half Men theme song and I'm still sharing it):



Note: They sound better in person than in the live videos. I don't know why that is.

Anyway. I was sort of hoping they'd sing this:



But alas...it was not to be.

You know, you CAN say it backwards, which is "docious-ali-expi-istic-fragil-cali-rupus," but that's going a bit too far, don't you think?

Fictional characters I wanted to be when I was a child (aged 5 - 12ish):

1. Red Fraggle

She had pigtails. I had pigtails. It was totally meant to be.

2. Punky Brewster

See above, re: pigtails.

3. Rainbow Brite

I actually had a rainbow belt when I was little. I'd wear it with my red suspenders and my red, heart-shaped sunglasses. The belt had a heart clasp and, when I wore it, I'd pretend I was Rainbow Brite and wish that my belt could shoot a rainbow out of it, but I must have run out of Star Sprinkles because it never did.

4. Princess Leia

Except I was always jealous that she never got a light saber.

5. Vada Sultenfuss (My Girl)

OK, so I didn't really want to live above a funeral parlor and I DEFINITELY didn't want my BFF to die of bee stings OH MY GOD, MOVIE, BE SADDER, NO I DARE YOU. Ahem. But Vada was sassy and quirky and also had an awesome mood ring that I coveted. I don't know why, maybe I wanted to wear it with my Rainbow Brite belt.

6. Belle from Beauty & the Beast

Have you SEEN that library? SWOON.

7. Mary Poppins

Um, she could fly. And she had a magic bag that she could hide tons of shit in, very much like the bag Hermione enchants in Deathly Hallows. When you think about it, Mary Poppins is kind of like a witch without a magic wand.

8. Meg Murry (A Wrinkle in Time)

She seemed so unsure of herself, like, all the time and DUH, of course I identified with that, but then she goes on a wicked awesome adventure to save her father, which is totally brave and awesome. Plus, we both wore really awkward glasses and yet a boy still liked her, so it gave me hope that maybe someday a boy would like me, too. OMG, I just made myself totally sad, oops. Poor, awkward, little Jennie.

9. Dorothy Gale

I think I wanted to be her most of all. The Wizard of Oz was my favorite movie when I was a kid ('cept for maybe E.T.) and I thought Oz was probably the most magical place in the world. Maybe I hadn't seen Willy Wonka yet, I don't know, but still. My dad even made me my own pair of ruby slippers. They were my most prized possession, until my feet grew too big for them, but I hung onto them for a long time even though they didn't fit. Even as an adult, I've often wished for some ruby slippers. I have some red shoes, but I've tried, and they never send me home when I click my heels three times.

10. Marion Ravenwood (Raiders of the Lost Ark)

SHE IS SO BADASS, YOU GUYS.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?

If you don't live in Ohio or North Carolina, you probably don't realize that the states totally hate each other. Want to know why? It's because of airplanes. And all the license plates. Allow me to explain.

Ohio license plates say, "Birthplace of Aviation."

North Carolina plates say, "First in Flight."

I say, "North Carolina can suck it."

When Heather and Abigail came to Ohio for the wedding, we were driving around one afternoon and the subject of flight came up. No, I don't remember how that happened, but it did. One of them mentioned something about North Carolina license plates saying "first in flight" and THEN they wondered why Ohio got all bent out of shape about it and that is when I HAD TO DROP SOME KNOWLEDGE ALL OVER THEIR ASSES.

I very rationally explained that North Carolina is wrong. It used to be cute that they thought flight was all theirs, but it's not funny anymore. Then I explained about the Wright Brothers and it soon became clear to me that this was not common knowledge unless maybe you grew up in Dayton and took yearly school field trips to the Air Force Museum. (The only other thing I remember from those field trips is that there is a plane at the museum named Strawberry Bitch, which we all thought was hilarious...probably because it's hilarious.)

So here, dear internet, is a faithful narrative of all things Wright Brothers. Well, maybe not all things. But some things! Things I could remember! Or that I found on Wackopedia. Anyway.

Once upon a time there were two brothers, Wilbur and Orville Wright. Neither technically graduated from high school, so think of that the next time you're on a plane. Wilbur was supposed to go to Yale, but he got his front teeth knocked out by a hockey puck so he stayed home because he was afraid none of the Yale ladies would want to make out with him. Ha. Just kidding, there were no ladies at Yale, it was 1885.

Anyway, instead of going to Yale, Wilbur stayed in Dayton and went to work with Orville at his print shop. Interesting (?) sidenote: Paul Laurence Dunbar was one of their customers, and had also been a classmate of Orville's. I like to imagine that they were BFFs. Also, that they invented a time machine so they could go to the future and find out if they ever became famous, which THEY TOTALLY DID. Well, Dayton-famous. Wah wah.

Later, the Wrights opened a bicycle shop called the Wright Cycle Exchange, and used all the crazy cash money they made to pay for their silly flight endeavors. They were mostly focused on how to control an aircraft, so the pilot wouldn't go careening off of a cliff and, like, die and stuff. Other flight-inventing-wannabes were more focused on strapping the biggest engines they could find on planes but the Wrights were all, "size isn't everything, duh."

Then Wilbur and Orville did a bunch of science to figure out how to make an awesome plane that wouldn't kill people. They did this and in 1903, they took the Wright Flyer I to Kitty Hawk, North Carolina and flew the shit out of it. The only reason the first flight took place in North Carolina was because the winds there were more conducive to flying than the winds in Dayton (plus it was December, which equals ice and snow in Ohio). Also, going to North Carolina was cheaper than going to California or Florida. So, congratulations, North Carolina! You get the bronze medal in wind.

But seriously. Stay away from The Wright Brothers. THEY'RE OURS.

(Indiana tries to butt in sometimes, too, just because Wilbur Wright was born there, which is sort of adorable but no, Indiana. Just...no. You get to claim Vonnegut and Letterman, WHY ISN'T THAT ENOUGH FOR YOU?)

PS: If you're ever in Dayton and you have some time to kill, I highly recommend going to Carillon Park. You can see a replica of the Wright bicycle shop (whoo?) and the Wright Flyer III, which is, I think, three times as awesome as the Wright Flyer I. Plus! There is a little replica schoolhouse from the olden days and you get to sit at the desks or in the corner and wear the Dunce hat. It's awesome. Or at least I thought it was awesome when we went there on field trips. You know, when I was 10.

9. What would your Boggart be?

My boggart would be someone telling me that I had to plan a wedding again. Oh, zing! Just kidding, it really wasn't that terrible. But seriously (folks), I had a really good time planning certain things (mustaches!) and even the not-so-fun things (assembling the invites!) weren't that bad because I got to watch terrible movies while doing it. WIN WIN WIN.

Anyway, I don't know if anyone has any interest in this BUT it might be helpful if you ever plan on planning a wedding and you're lazy like I am. So, here is what we did and how we planned (I would like to apologize for the length...that's what he said) and I'm sorry if it's really boring because OMG how boring is talking about wedding planning? Also, how long was that sentence? Damn, Gina.

1. Ceremony Venue

We almost got married in a tiny park that has a dinosaur in it, surrounded by immediate family and wedding party only. Then we almost got married in a tiny church, surrounded by immediate family and wedding party only. In the end, we got married in the tiny church, surrounded by EFFING EVERYONE, because we obviously loved everyone we invited and wanted them to be there for the ceremony. I still don't know how we squeezed so many people in such a teeny tiny church. It was sort of like how the Weasleys and Harry and Hermione all fit in a teeny tiny tent when they went to the Quidditch World Cup.

2. Reception Venue

We vacillated on the reception hall for a while, but eventually settled on the only place we visited, which is where almost everyone in Dayton has their wedding reception. Which...whatever, we probably could have tried harder to find somewhere a bit more creative, but in the end, I didn't really care so much about the where, I was more interested in the who (as in, WHO would be there) and the what (as in, WHAT food/drinks will we serve and WHAT will we do to make this a super crazy awesome fun time).

3. Food/Drinks/Cake

We served an appetizer buffet instead of a sit down dinner, thinking it would be faster. I'm not sure it was, but I was so happy we went that route because appetizers are my favorite food group (what?) and the jalapeno poppers were SO GOOD. Also, there were teeny pie things that had pizza toppings inside and OMG. My parents had everyone over after the reception and they served the leftover reception food, and I have a very fuzzy memory of standing next to all the food, shoving the pizza pie things in my mouth, like, until they were gone.

Since we didn't serve a big dinner, we worried that people would be feeling peckish toward the end of the night, so we served a soft pretzel bar (with nacho cheese and various mustards) as a late night snack. I didn't eat any (sad face) because I was too busy dancing around Hogwarts on the dance floor, but they sure looked good.

In the early planning stages, I think we were most excited to go cake tasting, but we only ended up going to one place because THAT WAS ALL IT TOOK. Seriously. We got our cupcakes from The Bombshell Bakeshop, which is a local Dayton business, and the proprietors couldn't have been nicer. Joe and I totally have a couple crush on them (whatever that means). We got about 200 cupcakes, in various flavors, and left the rest up to them. I can safely say that they went above and beyond and if you're getting married in Dayton, please hire them. You will not be disappointed.

4. Flowers

I honestly did not give two shits about the flowers, but my mom (hi, Mom!) really wanted us to have real bouquets because they smell nice. And they did smell nice. We got them from The Flowerman, another local business. My only complaint is that my bouquet was so heavy that I thought my arm was going to fall off during the ceremony, but that's not their fault, that's my fault for being such a wuss.

5. Favors

MUSTACHES! I ordered the mustaches from MaroDesigns on etsy. I almost didn't, because I thought it would be way too expensive to order 160 mustaches at something like $3 each. I ended up emailing her, though, and I'm so glad I did because she gave me a much cheaper price for ordering them in bulk.

You guys. This was the best wedding purchase I made. Way better than the flowers, better than my dress, better than EVERYTHING. Joe was a little worried that I became so fixated on getting fake mustaches for the reception, but that's because he had no idea I'd found such awesome mustaches. I am so, so glad I got them, if only for the pictures. OH THE PICTURES.

6. Photographer

Speaking of pictures, my cousin, Dana, is a wedding photographer and she gave us a great deal. Which is awesome, otherwise we never would have been able to afford her. Heh. Her website is here: Dana Grant Photography and some of our wedding photos are here: Joe and Jennie's DAY OF FUN.

7. Music/DJ

Joe's friend DJed for us, which was awesome because she took care of getting the equipment and everything. Our first/mother/father songs were:

First Dance: Falling Slowly by The Swell Season
Father/Daughter: Gracie by Ben Folds
Mother/Son: Let it Be by The Beatles

8. Centerpieces

BOARD GAMES. Seriously, it was so easy and fun and no one I talked to had ever been to a wedding with board game centerpieces. What made it even better was that the reception hall took care of setting all of them up at the tables. Even Twister, which was set up right next to the dance floor. Plus, it was cheap since we already had a lot of the games.

9. Invites

This was another thing I didn't really care about. I mean, I wanted them to look nice but I didn't want to spend a bajillion dollars on them. So, Joe drew the design and I figured out what they should say and we printed and assembled them ourselves.

10. Dress

This was my biggest headache, I think, but it wasn't even that bad. It's just that I hate shopping and there's so much pressure for your wedding dress to be, like, the prettiest dress you'll ever own. To which I say BULLSHIT because I plan on buying lots of pretty dresses for the rest of my life, so suck it.

That's not to say I didn't like my wedding dress. I loved it. It was way more comfortable than any dress has a right to be and I got it for only $200 (SCORE). Joe's mom used to alter wedding dresses for a living, so did all of my alterations. The dress came with a long train, which she hemmed completely off so I wouldn't trip over it. The biggest pain in the ass, really, was finding a strapless bra that was supportive but that didn't cut off my air supply.

11. Thank You Notes

Um, we are still working on these. Sorry, everyone who sent us gifts, but we are both procrastinators. So, those will hopefully go out before the end of the year. Or before our first wedding anniversary. Heh.

this is the laziest post ever...and it's really poorly written...I mean, way worse than usual...dot dot dot

I might give up on this HP question extravaganza because I think it's making me lazy. Well, lazier.

I do have to say that I am really enjoying the Great Harry Potter Reread of 2010. It's been a while since I've read them all. Usually when I reread them, I skip the first two books because...well, duh. It's strange, though, I find myself getting weepy at the oddest moments, moments that didn't cause tears the first time I read the books but now that I've read all of them, I spend most of my time all, "THIS IS SO EMOTIONALLY SIGNIFICANT AND I WANT TO CRY" because yeah, you guys, I want to cry. I got teary the first time I saw chubby, little Neville when I was watching The Sorcerer's Stone yesterday. WTF, you guys, WTF?

Not much is going on, which is kind of weird after the past month or two of crazy hellaciousness, and I would probably be spending a lot of time wondering what to do with myself were it not for NaNo and the GHPR2010 and NaBloMe.

In other news, I took Max for a walk yesterday and two things happened:

1) I lost his poop in a pile of leaves, because it was a HUGE pile of leaves and his poops are little. When I told Joe about it, he was all, "WHY DID YOU LET HIM WALK IN A PILE OF LEAVES? and I will explain more about that in a moment

and 2) Someone had their dog off of his leash, which is fine if your dog is well-behaved, I suppose. Anyway, so suddenly this giant German Shepherd is running straight at me and instead of having a normal person reaction and being, I don't know, cautious around the 90 pound stranger-dog, I was all, "LOOK AT YOU!" and bent down so I could hug him and love him and call him George. Only his name was Buddy. Anyway, he didn't rip my face off, so that's awesome.

Yeah, so the pile of leaves thing. Joe and I were walking Max a while ago and I was letting Max frolic in leaf piles and Joe was like, "I wish you wouldn't do that," and I was all, "why not?" and he was like, "because he'll get bugs all over him," and I was like, "...um, WHAT." Apparently Joe wasn't allowed to play in leaf piles when he was a kid because his parents told him he'd get bugs all over him. And I was all, "GO AHEAD MAX YOU PLAY IN ALL THE LEAVES." Then I tried to push Joe in a leaf pile but it didn't work because he's way taller than me so really all that happened is that I almost fell over. True story.

Anyway, today's HP question is something about what character you'd be if you lived in HP-land and my answer is I DON'T KNOW, YOU TELL ME. So...you tell me, please.

a study in non-productivity

Right now I am:

Watching The Sorcerer's Stone while alternately:

Reading Goblet of Fire and working on my NaNo novel, which means:

I'm not really getting anything done. I did manage to shower, so that's a big win, I guess. But whatever, I suppose you're using your extra hour in a more productive fashion? GOOD FOR YOU.

I can at least answer today's Harry Potter question, which is: What class you most want to take?

Transfiguration, obviously, because McGonagall is the shit. Or maybe Defense Against the Dark Arts as taught by Professor Lupin.

6. Favorite villain

Remember when Sirius Black was a villain? That was awesome. But he was a good villain, all crazy and screamy and murdery. I mean, I liked him more when he was Harry's irresponsible godfather but then he went and got himself killed by my other favorite villain, Bellatrix LeCRAZYASSFACE.

Anyway, have you guys seen this? It's pretty old, but I think you should see it:

5. Favorite pairing

HermiRONe all the way. Duh.

Lupin and Tonks also warmed my cold, cold heart, but I can't think about them without getting verklempt DAMN YOU, JK ROWLING.

Also, did Neville and Luna end up together? Or did I make that up because it was my heart's secret wish?

30 Days of Harry Potter: Top 3 favorite characters

THIS IS SO HARD (twss). I'm changing the topic a bit and making it top 3 favorite characters who are not Harry, Hermione, or Ron because...well, because it just makes things easier for me. And, in the end, isn't that what really matters?

1. Hagrid (alternate: Neville)
2. Ginny Weasley (alternate: Hedwig)
3. Lupin (alternate: Tonks, duh)

Again, my answer really depends on the day. I'm sure as soon as I hit publish, I'll have changed my mind.

30 Days of Harry Potter DAY 3: What would your Patronus be?

The other night at dinner, Joe told me that he was talking to one of the neighbors one morning while he was walking Max and the neighbor warned him to WATCH OUT FOR COYOTES. Apparently, several people had spotted a coyote by the pond (the one Heather got in trouble for throwing rocks into) and along the edges of the parking lots, where there are lots of trees. The guy was all, "just be careful walking at night," and advised us to stay in the well-lit areas and to shine a flashlight in the coyote's face if it approached. Luckily, we have a flashlight. We had to get one because it's hard to see Max's poops in the grass when it's all dark outside, and since it gets dark at 3:30 now, we usually end up walking him all blind and shit.

So, Joe is telling me this, and I'm all, "and all this time I was worried about ZOMBIES attacking us while we're out for a walk, and not coyotes," and Joe was all, "...yeah...anyway, be careful." And I was like, NO WAIT because here:

Me: Don't worry, if I see a coyote, I'll just tell it to go away.
Joe: Yeah, I don't know if that will work.
Me: Hahahaha, remember that time everyone thought I saw a coyote?
Joe: You mean the time you lied to everyone on your blog?
Me: ...You're going to have to be more specific.
Joe: People thought you saw a coyote because YOU SAID YOU SAW A COYOTE.
Me: Yeah, but I also said I talked to it, I thought people would realize it was fake. I mean, I had a conversation with a coyote.
Joe: Jennie, you have conversations like that with ducks ALL THE TIME.
Me: Oh, right.

So, long story short, my patronus would totally be a duck. QUACK.

ETA: Or an otter, since Joe won't let me get a real one.

NaBloMe: Day 2

30 Days of Harry Potter, stolen shamelessly from here:

Order the books from favorite to least favorite:

1. Prizoner of Azkaban
2. Goblet of Fire
3. Deathly Hallows
4. Half Blood Prince
5. Order of the Phoenix
6. Sorcerer's Stone
7. Chamber of Secrets

Order the movies from favorite to least favorite

1. Prizoner of Azkaban
2. Half Blood Prince
3. Order of the Phoenix
4. Goblet of Fire
5. Sorcerer's Stone
6. Chamber of Secrets

These lists are completely arbitrary. You could ask me again tomorrow and my answers might be totally different. Oh, well, the point is that I posted today, half-assed though it was.

Here comes the funcooker!

I'm posting today because I haven't quite decided NOT to do NaBloPoMo. I'm definitely doing NaNoWriMo, if only because I told both Ashley and Joe I would do it BUT ALSO because I got an email from my past self (via FutureMe) that simply said:

Subject: NaNoWriMo

DO IT.

So I'm doing it. You can't back out on something your past self told you to do, you just can't.

In any case, last year it really helped me to post on my blog every day, even if I was just posting my word count because A) it kept me honest and B) you all could yell at me if I didn't write my daily word count. BUT. This year is a bit different because Joe and I also have a bet going, which is going to take up a lot of my non-NaNo-writing time until November 18th. Here is how the bet happened:

Me: I kind of want to read Deathly Hallows again before the movie comes out.
Joe: Do you have time?
Me: Oh, totally. I could read it twice before the movie comes out.
Joe: Why would you do that?
Me: THREE TIMES. I COULD READ IT THREE TIMES BEFORE THE MOVIE COMES OUT.
Joe: O...K?
Me: What, I could do it.
Joe: Wanna bet?
Me: YES.
Joe: Um. OK.
Me: I don't really want to read Deathly Hallows three times in a row, though.*
Joe: Hmm. OK. Let me think.
Me: Sure...
Joe: OK, I bet that you can't read all seven books before the movie comes out.
Me: That's it?
Joe: ...
Me: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

So that's the bet, whether or not I can read all seven books before midnight on November 18th. The loser (Joe) will have to make dinner for the winner (me) for a full week. The winner (me) gets to pick what the loser (Joe) makes. Any menu suggestions? Joe might need time to prepare.

*not because I don't love it, but because my eyes might dry up and fall out from all the crying