Friday, March 27, 2009

Scotch and Splenda. Tastes like Splenda, gets you drunk like Scotch.

You guys, I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt I was on Lost island and I was running around the Dharma Initiative village with Juliet and then Ben shot an arrow into my hand. It did not feel good. It was a tiny arrow, though, and when Juliet pulled it out (heh), there was a hole in my hand. Also weird. Anyway.

I blame the Guinness I had with dinner, because whenever I have a glass or two of beer in the evening or whatever, I always have crazy, vivid dreams. You know, like getting an arrow shot through my hand. OW. I know it was only a dream, but I really think going through that whole ordeal, what with the bleeding and the pain and THE ARROW STICKING OUT OF MY HAND, made me a stronger person. If I ever for-realsies get shot in the hand with an arrow, I think I'd be OK. I hope my brain doesn't know something I don't. Like, what if it knows that sometime in the future, I get shot in the hand with an arrow? And it's trying to prepare me for it. I don't know why I'd be somewhere that I'd get shot in the arrow. Maybe it happens in the Zombie Revolution that is sure to occur in the next 20 years or so. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Maybe it wasn't the Guinness. I also had a Monster Grilled Cheese sandwich AND Pub Fries covered in 10 pounds of cheese, so maybe the cheese made the dreams. It was a lot of cheese. Like, all different kinds of cheese, too. I mean, I really like cheese (all kinds) but this was just A LOT of cheese all up in my business. Yep, I'm still talking about cheese.

Anyway. Last night, we went to see a live taping of Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me, and it was really cool even though they made fun of Dayton the whole time. I don't blame them, really. Dayton is very make-fun-able.

Next week is my last week at this job, and after watching The Office last night, I realize I've been TOTALLY WASTING my two-week-notice-immunity period. Apparently I should have been throwing stuff at my coworkers, mixing disgusting drinks, and planning to start my own paper company. Oh well. There's always next week. Maybe I'll totally Hef it up and wear pajamas and a robe every day.

So, Joe got a Blackberry the other day and keeps expressing his amazement that HE HAS THE INTERNET! ON HIS PHONE! Seriously. The Internet. On the phone. Yesterday he was all:

Joe: I'm gonna blog about how I have the Internet on my phone.
Me: OK.
Joe: Do you think I can get a whole post out of that?
Me: Um, I've gotten whole posts out of far less.

Example: see above.


mysterygirl! said...

I'm glad Juliet fixed your hand, and I'm impressed by your ability to endure such a physical hardship. You will survive the zombie apocalypse for sure, as if there was ever any doubt.

And YES, pjs and bathrobe to work next week.

Ashley said...

I will give you ONE MILLION DOLLARS if you do something to get escorted off the premises by a security guard on your last day. And then call him Hank.

You might have to wait awhile until I'm a millionaire, though. Just know I'm good for it.

Beau said...

Joe should totally download the facebook app...its so great on my iphone!

peefer said...

The thing I hate about you is that you recognize and respond to every single opportunity for "twss" (and variants), denying us the possibility to shine, even for just a moment.

This is also the thing I love about you.

Hi Joe. Can you see me on that tiny thing?