Monday, January 12, 2009

and then I fell over

Oh, right, I have a blog. Hi, blog! Sorry I've been neglecting you. The thing is, I don't have time to blog at work and when I say blog at work, of course I mean during my lunch break and not when I'm supposed to be doing actual work. Because I've been spending my lunch break WORKING. Not today, though. Today I spent the first half of my lunch break going to Kroger to get wine and baking sheets (not to use together, though) and now I'm ignoring my phone and email, listening to the Dr. Horrible soundtrack, and BLOGGING. Heh, at first I wrote this: BLOGGIN. Which I think I like better. Anyway.

Heidi got a Wii Fit for Christmas, and last night we hooked it up. Well. Heidi hooked it up. I sat there and watched. To be fair, though, hooking it up meant putting in some batteries and pushing some buttons on the Wii, so I really think I'd have just been in the way if I had tried to help.

The Wii Fit started out by grunting in pain when I stepped on the board. That was nice. And then! It told me I was overweight. Ouch, Wii. That hurts. I mean, it wasn't exactly breaking news or anything, but hearing that I did, in fact, eat too many Christmas cookies and drink too much egg nog (fact: I did not drink any egg nog because . . . gross) was the opposite of fun. I watched Heidi do a balance test and dodge some soccer balls, cleats, and panda heads (what?) and then it was my turn.

Well. I did the balance test and the Wii Fit was all, "WTF? Are you 80? Do you find yourself tripping over stuff a lot?" OK, it really didn't say all that EXCEPT for that last thing BECAUSE IT TOTALLY DID ASK IF I TRIP OVER STUFF. This is when Heidi and Joe almost died laughing FOR REALSIES because the Wii knew how clumsy I am after just one test.

Then. I tried to slalom and it went about as well as it does when I try to for-real ski. I ran into more flags than anything else. Honestly, I'm surprised I didn't fall off the board (although, I did when I tried the step aerobics) and when I finished slaloming (is that a word?), the Wii Fit told me I was unbalanced. Which, duh.

I redeemed myself a bit during the hula hooping, I think. I made it all the way through and spun the shit out of some hula hoops. Sure, a couple hula hoops hit me in the head, but you know . . . baby steps. Anyway, here is something brand new. Conversations Between My Roommate and My Boyfriend:

Joe: My favorite part was when the hula hoop hit her in the head.
Heidi: Me too!
Joe: Because I feel like . . . if someone threw a hula hoop at her in real life, that's what would happen.
Heidi: Definitely. I also liked her granny-hula-hooping hand gestures.
Me: Thanks, guys.

Can you feel the love? I can. It's cold and hurty.


kat! said...

video please.

Abigail said...


mysterygirl! said...

Wii Fit sounds awesome. I mean, it sounds mean, too, but not as mean as your roommate and boyfriend. :)

Jennie! said...

kat! oh HELL no.

Abs, I understand where you are coming from.

mg! I can't really blame them. I'm sure I looked ridiculous.

Tamara Garvey said...

the wii thing mocks you when you step on the board??? and people pay for that and then use it? gah. if you want to be mocked for your weight, i can always just introduce you to my family. ba dum bump!

heather! anne! said...

I'm second in the ocean about a video.

Tam said...

My wii fit tells me I am a fat a@@ every time I step on it and asks my why my husband's lazy butt never plays anymore.

Oh and I am actually commenting to apologize half-heartedly for bashing you on my blog today. But in all honesty I do think you smoke crack sometimes. The End.

Jennie! said...

I can't believe you didn't like WALL-E. Are you dead inside?

Tam said...

Jennie, you and I will never speak of this movie again.

Mom said...

Wonder where you may get that unbalanced, uncoordinated stuff....remember mom with the guitar?!?!?

eclectic said...

Wall-E is best. SO BEST. I sentence Tam to the Wii-fit meanie board until she agrees.