Friday, September 12, 2008

even old New York was once New Amsterdam, why they changed it I can't say, people just liked it better that WAAAAAAAAY

I got the nicest email today. It was from some company/website called offering me free samples of pads and tampons. How kind! Nothing says "being a girl" like pads and tampons. I was really confused, though. Either some spam slipped into my Inbox or someone registered me for free tampons. So . . . thanks?

I'm headed to Cleveland again this weekend, this time for Amy's wedding. I am so prepared. I'm already (mostly) packed and I've printed directions from my apartment to the hotel, from the hotel to the church, from the church back to the hotel, from the hotel to the reception, from the reception to the hotel, and from the hotel to my apartment. And there's a shuttle from the hotel to the reception and back, so I don't even know why I printed those directions. Oh, right, because I'm A) a control freak and B) crazy. I know I don't need all those directions (because I do, in fact, know how to reverse them), but the thought that I have them JUST IN CASES gives me great comfort. Because I'm A) a control freak and B) crazy. But, um, what if our shuttle breaks down on the way back to the hotel after the reception? And our shuttle driver gets amnesia? People are going to be glad I have the directions.

Last night, as a result of a fender-bender (Joe) and random-nonsensical-sleep-deprived-slaphappery (me), Joe and I had the following conversation, or some version thereof, and NO, I don't remember how it started:

Joe [singing]: Darkwing Duck! When there's trouble you call DW.
Me: I always hated Darkwing Duck.
Joe: WHAT?!
Me: Whatever. What did you like better? Ducktales or Rescue Rangers?
Joe: Oooh, that's a hard one. I don't know.
Me: Did you ever notice that Rescue Rangers is just like Wings?
Joe: Um . . .
Me: Because there are two pilot brothers . . . and one is goofy and wears funny shirts and the other one is really uptight and straight-laced.
Joe: Right.
Me: And the mouse with the long, blond hair is Helen.
Joe: Oh my god!
Me: And the big, fat rat is Roy.
Joe: Yeah . . .
Me: And the little fly thing is either Lowell or Antonio, I can't decide.
Joe: That's amazing.
Me: Yeah. It's just a theory I've been working on.
Joe: It's pretty good.
Me [singing]: Darkwing Duck! Let's. Get. Dangerous.
Joe: Wow, if you hated the show, why do you know the song?
Me: Just because I hated it doesn't mean I didn't watch it.
Joe: I loved that show. Because it was about superheroes.
Me: Of course. My favorite was Tiny Toons. I used to imitate Babs on the playground.
Joe: Why does that not surprise me?
Me: Plus, there were those They Might Be Giants videos they made.
Joe: What?!
Me: Yeah. Istanbul. And Particle Man.
Joe: Hmm. Maybe that's the reason those are the only They Might Be Giants songs I know.
Me [singing]: Particle man. Particle man. Doing the things a particle can.
Joe [singing]: So take me back to Constantinople, no, you can't go back to Constantinople, been a long time gone, Constantinople, why did Constantinople get the works? That's nobody's business but the Turks . . .
Me: Whooooooaaaaa--whooaaa-oooaaa-oaaaaaa! Whoaaa-oooaaa-ooaaa! Whoaaaa-aaa-oooaaa!

True story. There was some talk of Launchpad from Ducktales but I don't remember that part. Wow, good story, Jennie.


Tam said...

well you should rent the movie HOWARD THE DUCK. Lea Thompson makes out with her fully white friend - turned me on actually. (oddly enough it came out when I was six)

Tam said...

Fully = Fluffy

kat! said...

i don't know what you're talking about; darkwing duck was super awesome, jennie. also, joe needs to learn more TMBG songs. start with 'birdhouse in your soul' and go from there.

Jennie! said...

Tam! I have seen that. I saw it when I was little and then watched it again in college and realized how dirty it was.

Kat, I totally sang that one last night, too. Unfortunately, I lent someone my TMBG CDs in college and they never gave them back. Thief!

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

I think Duck Tales was the greatest of all the duck-based cartoons. I had no particular problem with Darkwing Duck, it's just that it seemed like a bastardization of the franchise. I mean, I can buy the fact that there's a duck with an enormous chin who flies a float-plane, but a duck that's also a caped superhero? C'mon. No. Just stop.

Ashley said...

Um, you totally just blew my mind. I mean, it's gone. I think some part of me always knew that Rescue Rangers was really Wings, but I didn't want to admit it. Now, I am free.

mg! said...

Hahaha-- I'm with Ashley.

Grad School Reject said...

I always liked Gizmo Duck from Duck Tales, and how he was really a mild mannered accountant (Fenton Crackshell)who only got to be Gizmo Duck because he used the secret password "blathering blatherskite."

Joe G. said...

The part about Launchpad was my comment about how Launchpad McQuack was on both DuckTales and Darkwing Duck, and I was noting how that meant that those two shows took place in the same universe. Like that episode of The X-Files with Det. Munch from Homicide: Life on the Streets. How cool would it be with Mulder and Scully showed up in an episode of Law & Order? Or, better yet, Law & Order: Criminal Intent? Way freaking cool, is how cool.

Also, what's the deal with Tail Spin? The characters from The Jungle Book...what, did they evolve or something? And Baloo became a pilot? Is that what that was all about? It confuses me.

Stephanie said...

I know I haven't met Joe and perhaps it's rude of me to lump him in with you, but... you two are crazy.