Monday, February 14, 2011

won't you be my neighbor

I find it somewhat comforting to realize that I care as much about Valentine's Day now that I'm married as I did when I was single, which is to say, very little.

I do, however, care very much about these Doctor Who Valentine's Day cards. So there's that.

A funny thing happened yesterday in Ohio and that thing was that it wasn't absolutely frigid outside. It was maybe, MAYBE, 45, but that didn't stop some silly Ohioans from running around in shorts and t-shirts. Because that's what people do on the first semi-warm day of the year and I sort of love it. I mean, I'm not going to start running around in a sundress just because it's above freezing, but it was nice to walk Max IN THE SUNSHINE and not have to wear two pairs of pants, a scarf, gloves, and a hat and yet still worry about whether the tip of my nose is going to fall off because OMG I CAN'T FEEL MY NOSE ANYMORE.

I think the warm weather made me more productive, too, because NOT ONLY did I go to the grocery, but Joe and I ran all sorts of boring errands and didn't complain about them ONCE, plus I chopped up a million vegetables so the Crock Pot could make some beef stew for us to have for dinner tonight. I love when the Crock Pot cooks for us, especially on nights when I'm not going to be home until 7:30.

Oh! I forgot to tell you guys something really important about our neighbor, who we call Poltergeist Lady, because, well, she looks like this lady. In fact, when we first moved in, she knocked on our door to introduce herself and when she left, this happened:

Me: Oh, man. I'm having really mean thoughts.
Joe: Ooh, what are they?
Me: I don't wanna say.
Joe: Is it this? "Carol Anne, Carol Anne!"
Me: OK, so at least we're both going to hell.

So that's how she got the name Poltergeist Lady. She's very nice, but we always thought her a little odd, and the other night I upgraded her status from "a little odd," to "I'm not answering the door anymore."

We had a pretty bad ice storm a couple of weeks ago, and because of this, Joe and I both worked from home. This meant I didn't shower until I "left" work, so I had just gotten out of the shower when there was a knock on the door. Joe answered (in his Superman pajama pants) and I hid in the bathroom and listened. This is what I heard:

Poltergeist Lady: Hiiiiiiii.
Joe: Hi.
PL: [lots of mumbly words]
Joe: Um...
PL: [more mumbly words]
Joe: OK?

Then I heard Joe go into the kitchen, get something out of a cabinet, and go back to the front door.

Joe: Here you go.

"What was that?" I shouted once the front door was closed.

"Oh, Poltergeist Lady wanted to borrow some taco seasoning," Joe answered.

Naturally, I was all, "um, WHAT," and it turns out she'd gone to the grocery to buy stuff to make tacos, but had forgotten taco seasoning, and so OF COURSE she went knocking on doors until she found some. Sure, OK. Maybe I'm just unfriendly, but I try to avoid my neighbors at all costs, because there's nothing I hate more than small talk. I'm so bad at it. I don't want to tell you how my day was, I don't care how your day was, and I can't talk with you about the weather anymore or I'll have to stab myself in the eardrum.

Anyway, so if I realized I'd forgotten ANYTHING at the grocery, I would either go back and get it or do without it. Especially if it was something like TACO SEASONING.

But, fine, she's obviously different than me AND THAT'S OK. You know what's not OK? That she came back five minutes later and asked for more.

Joe's way nicer than I am because I would have lied and said we didn't have any taco seasoning the first time she knocked on the door. So it's good that he answered the door instead of me. We want to remain on her good side, you know, in case our TV ever starts talking to us.


Heather Anne Hogan said...

I love this post. I would have given that lady all the taco seasoning in my cabinet, just like Joe. And probably she would have murdered me and FINALLY everyone could be like, "Jesus, Heather. Told you so."

Heather Anne Hogan said...

Also, does Max have any clothes? I feel like I want to see a photo of Max in a sweater.

Jennie said...

He has a little coat for when it rains/snows really hard. But that's just because if it's raining, he tries to refuse to go outside and, um, no, that is not OK.

S said...

I truly thought she was going to ask for the stereotypical cup of sugar. When I ever read "Taco Seasoning," I almost choked on my water. That was awesome!

mysterygirl! said...

The fact that she looks like the Poltergeist Lady just makes the whole story. "Carol Anne! Carol Anne!" = hilarious.

Kiti said...

I think people from Ohio are just kind of odd in the way that they look and act kind of crazy at times yet are neighborly enough to lend and borrow seasonings from their kitchen cupboards.

And that ice/snow storm from a few weeks ago was CRAZY. Snow was flying past my window IN A HORIZONTAL STREAM, at FIFTY MILES PER HOUR. It freaked me out because I'm from SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. We like our snow miles and miles away on the top of mountains, so we can talk about how we see it on a really clear day when there's no smog in the air.

L.A.C.E. said...

I can relate to the running out in "warmer" weather with little on. It was still in the minuses but because it wasn't -40 celsius I threw on my spring jacket and my crocks. It was simply too warm to wear the winter jacket. If I didn't have kids, I would have forgot the jacket lol

the whole poltergeist lady thing. wow, taco seasoning lol

Jennie said...

S, the sugar thing I can KIND OF understand, because if you're in the middle of making cookies or something, you totally need it. But you can make tacos without taco seasoning.

mg! she sounds like her, too. And sometimes she yells in the hallway and it drives Max CRAZY.

Kiti, yeah, that ice storm was not OK. And I say that having grown up in Ohio.

L.A.C.E. I HATE wearing a jacket. But if it was still in the minuses, I'd probably still be wearing the biggest winter coat I could find. :)

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