Monday, July 11, 2011

Do you like scary movies?

Did I tell you guys about the awesome people who made our wedding cupcakes? I feel like I might have mentioned them, but I'm not sure I talked about how, after we met with them for the initial cupcake tasting, Joe and I left with a total Couples Crush on them. I mean, they came up with THIS. Look at that and tell me YOU don't have a crush on them.

Anyway. They invited us over to their house this past weekend so we could watch movies. IN THEIR BACKYARD. It was great, aside from the bug bites, of which I now have A GAJILLION even though I was wearing bug spray, but apparently applying bug spray was just like the bug equivalent of marinating myself so I was even tastier or something.

Whatever, my point is, I've watched a lot of movies lately, so here are the movies and BONUS also my thoughts about them. I put them in order of how much I enjoyed them:

1. Dinner for Schmucks

Wow, this was pretty terrible, yeah? There were so many funny people in it, including my boyfriend Paul Rudd, so even though I'd heard it was bad, I was expecting it to be at least a little bit good. So, right, this movie is called Dinner for Schmucks, yeah? Well, the dinner isn't until, like, the very end and I think it lasts about fifteen minutes but it feels like eternity, so maybe that's what they were going for? I don't know.

Bright spots: Jemaine Clement, obviously. Chris O'Dowd as the blind swordsman. Paul Rudd wears a suit a lot. This exchange:

Marco the Blind Swordsman: I love to paint.
Davenport: Oh wow, are you any good?
Marco the Blind Swordsman: I don't know.

2. Greenberg

Ugh. You guys. UGH. When this movie, which mostly consisted of Ben Stiller's character trying to win first place in the WORLD'S BIGGEST SELFISH ASSHOLE contest (the prize is a swift kick to the balls), was over, I treated Joe with a ten minute diatribe on how tired I am of all these man-baby movies and, what? Was I supposed to feel sorry for Greenberg? I'm not really sure. I spent most of the movie worried that he was going to accidentally kill the dog because the dog almost accidentally died in his care because he's a stupid, whiny, selfish asshole, which I know I already said but YOU GUYS HE WAS SUCH AN ASSHOLE.

Bright spots: The dog was really cute. Um...

3. Morning Glory

Rachel McAdams is working HARD here, you guys. The movie is pretty bad, but she's so adorable that I didn't even mind.

Bright spots: Rachel McAdams. 


4. There Will Be Blood

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...oh, I'm sorry, I fell asleep just thinking about this movie.

Bright spots: Daniel Day Lewis is fascinating. I enjoy watching him do whatever, even if it's beating someone's head in with a bowling pin (oops, spoilers).

5. Cedar Rapids

Cute, if a bit forgettable. I only watched it a week ago but can't remember much about it. Ed Helms is almost stuck in the same man-baby category as Ben Stiller's Greenberg, but he's sweet and he means well, so he's charming instead of insufferable.

Bright spots: Ed Helms. Maeby Funke as a hooker.

6. Black Swan

This was really good but, much like every other Darren Aronofsky movie I've ever seen, I'll probably never watch it again. Also, I couldn't help but compare it to Center Stage the entire time, which I'm sure Joe enjoyed immensely.

Bright spots: Crazy costumes! Dancing! A skeevy Frenchman!

7. Horrible Bosses

This was not a good movie, really, but I still enjoyed it. The three leads are so fun to watch, and I could watch Charlie Day rage-scream all day long. Still, I thought it would be a lot funnier than it was. I only LOLed a few times.

Bright spots: The cast was pretty spot-on. Charlie Day. There's a character named Motherfucker Jones, which I cannot stop saying.

8. Scream

Joe had never seen this, so I made him watch it. Scream came out when I was in high school and I've seen it at least 900 times NO JOKE OK maybe a little joke. It's kind of hilarious to watch now because they keep talking about "cellular phones" and how it's weird for a HS kid to have one.

Bright spots: I unironically love this movie so ALL OF IT. Plus, Joe now keeps walking around saying, "DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES?" and it makes me giggle every time.

9. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

I'd never seen this, so Joe made me watch it. Except, he didn't really MAKE me watch it because HELLO, Robert Downey Jr. is in it, so of course I'm going to watch it. I recently pointed out that I will watch anything RDJ is in, which is why I've seen both Due Date and Only You. Anyway. THIS MOVIE IS DELIGHTFUL. I need to own it so I can watch it whenever I need a RDJ fix because he is at his Robert Downey Jr.-est in this movie.

Bright spots: RDJ, obviously. Val Kilmer sometimes annoys me, but he's pretty great in this.

10. Midnight in Paris

If I could jump into movies, I would jump straight into this one. I want to full on make out with this movie, then buy it some ice cream, and then some beer, and maybe also a pony. As soon as it was over, I wanted to watch it again, which is pretty much the highest praise I can give a movie.

Bright spots: YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY ALL OF IT, GO SEE THIS RIGHT NOW

We also watched some really shitty Netflix Instant movies, such as The Hole (for shits) and American Psycho 2 (for giggles) and they were both very terrible in different ways.

I keep wishing there was something like Goodreads, but for movies. Does such a thing exist? Or is this a thing I can invent and then subsequently make like a billion dollars? Please let me know ASAP.

The next movie on the agenda is Harry Potter, Deathly Hallows 2.

:( :( :( :( ALL OF THE SAD FACES EVER, BASICALLY

8 comments:

Kerri Anne said...

1. I LOVE Scream. Like one of my favorite movies of all time, definitely. Also, one of the most quotable. "No, please don't kill me, Mr. Ghostface; I wanna be in the sequel!" Also the soundtrack is pretty amazing and was one of the first movie soundtracks I ever bought back when everyone still went to movie stores and bought CDs. I actually just recently found it again after a day-long storage unit purge and there might have been actually squeals of joy.

2. Morning Glory made me laugh so hard I was crying at one point, and I can't remember WHY exactly, but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with Jeff Goldblum. #TeamGoldblum

3. Midnight in Paris made me wonder why there haven't been more movies about Hemingway. More Hemingway, I say!

4. I seriously can't believe we are all about the watch (and sob through) the VERY LAST Harry Potter movie. I just...I'm going to miss Ron and Hermione and FRED AND GEORGE and everyone so much. Also, I'm sure you've already seen, but oh haaai Neville Longbottom: http://is.gd/hLyTTN

Kathleen said...

Perhaps you and your comedy boyfriend should join me and my comedy boyfriend, Jason Segel, on a date sometime! A petting zoo sounds fun.

Have you guys seen "Date Night"? I keep thinking about trying it out but want to hear thoughts from like-minded movie goers. Same for "Cedar Rapids," so I guess I'll be giving that one a try!


Oh, Fred and George. WAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAA.

Jennie said...

Seriously, who knew Neville was so hot? I feel like a dirty old woman but I just looked and I'm only seven years older than him...that's not so bad, right?

Kathleen, our comedy boyfriends are so dreamy, aren't they?

I have seen Date Night...it was enjoyable. Not the GREATEST movie ever, but very fun.

I can't talk about Fred and George. I was hoping maybe they'd change the movie, but the preview makes me think no. :(

Gretchen Alice said...

Midnight in Paris pretty much swept me off my feet. (Except I hated Rachel McAdams in that movie and this made me very sad because I usually have very fond feelings towards her.) (And I would like to be BFF with F. Scott and Zelda.)

mysterygirl! said...

I love my mental picture of Joe saying, "Do you like scary movies?" all the time. Thank you for that.

And WOW, you've seen more movies recently than I see in, like, two years. All I've seen recently is Beginners, with Ewan McGregor and Christopher Plummer (omgvontrapp). I'd recommend it wholeheartedly if you like both laughing and crying, sometimes simultaneously.

Jennie said...

Gretchen, me too! She was, like, Regina George level bitchy.

mg! I will have to watch that! I HAVE watched a lot of movies lately...I think it's because I don't like to go outside when it's super hot. Hee.

Kiti said...

Believe it or not, I was just over at GFY looking at their post of how INCREDIBLY HOT Matt Lewis (Neville Longbottom) has become. Neville was always a fond favorite since the first book, but utterly won my heart in Goblet of Fire with his herbology awesomeness and taking Ginny to the ball and stuff. In the first Deathly Hallows movie, he only shows up (if I recall correctly) in the scene on the Hogwarts Express where he stands up to the dark wizards and says "Hey, idiots, they're NOT HERE." He was so tall and hot. Yeah, he's the archtype of the man I'm going to marry some day. ANYWAY.

Can't wait till this weekend and Deathly Hallows Part 2, but it's sad, too. We'll always have the books, though.

Ashley said...

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang is awesome. I love that movie.

I have to go see Horrible Bosses because my boyfriend John Francis Daley helped to write it. It's a loyalty thing.