Monday, June 13, 2011

My own personal Avengers

Sometimes I feel like I spent most of my day wishing I was best friends with some fictional person or another. I spend the rest of the day wondering which fictional characters I would want on my side in a fight. Not just a fight fight, like with general fisticuffs and whatnot, but a fight with an alien or a vampire or GOD FORBID a battle with a rising zombie army. I mean, sure, I would love to hang out with Bridget Jones or Jo March but I don't think either one of them is going to be that great at helping me kill a werewolf. I think Jo would be game and would probably put a lot of effort into it, but I'm not sure that, between the two of us (Bridget, obviously, would be cowering under a table somewhere, clutching a bottle of vodka), we'd be able to overpower and defeat a werewolf. Maybe a regular wolf, a wereless wolf, but a werewolf? We'd get out throats ripped out.

That's why I've been gathering fictional fighters for my own personal protection squad. These are not necessarily people I'd want to hang out with in my spare time (ahemBUFFY), although I would LOVE to hang out with some of them in, like, all of my spare time (ahemTHE DOCTOR) but ANYWAY, my point is, I think all of them would be able to protect me from zombies, and really, isn't that all you want out of your friends bodyguards? Yes. Besides, despite even my most logical arguments, Joe won't let me get a gun so I can protect us during the inevitable zombie apocalypse that is probably going to happen any second now, so this personal protection squad is totally necessary until Joe caves.

Kara Thrace / Starbuck
Starbuck 

Pros: Is a badass, knows how to use a lot of different weapons, can come back from the dead (or something)
Cons: Is drunk all the time

Hermione
Hermione Granger   

Pros: Knows all the magic, cool under pressure
Cons: Is usually pretty busy saving Ron and Harry

Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Buffy Summers 

Pros: Can protect against vampires and other demony things
Cons: So whiny

MUJERES DIVINAS... ELLEN RIPLEY
Ellen Ripley 

Pros: Will come in handy if the scariest aliens ever attack Earth
Cons: Is dead, I think? I can't remember what happened in the last movie(s).

Batman
Batman 

Pros: Has lots of gadgets, cool car, own sidekick, is a self-made superhero TAKE THAT SUPERMAN
Cons: Has that weird, growly voice thing going on right now

Mulder & Scully
Fox Mulder 

Pros: Has seen a lot of crazy shit, knows about paranormally things, I would probably get to hang out with Scully, too
Cons: Drops his gun all the time, has tendency to die a lot

David Tennant in "Doomsday" Doctor Who
The Doctor  

Pros: has a sonic screwdriver, comes with a variety of companions PLUS sexy TARDIS, can regenerate if necessary
Cons: NONE

7 comments:

Joe G. said...

I suppose this list.

Ripley died in Alien3, and was brought back as some sort of alien/human clone thing in Alien: Resurrection. It appalls me that the amount of talent on that movie produced such an awful finished film.

Gretchen Alice said...

I'd pick Veronica Mars. Also, Princess Leia OR Han Solo. Not both at the same time because they would either be bickering OR making out with each other instead of avenging stuff.

Jennie said...

I'd be good with VMars, as long as she brought Back-up. Hee. Han Solo or Princess Leia (you're right, they couldn't be together) would be great, too. Not Luke Skywalker, though. No.

Iron Fist said...

You say drunk all the time like it's a bad thing.

Jennie said...

I just worry about her reasoning skills. And ability to walk. Although, she's a pretty high functioning drunk person.

Jake Pudinheimer said...

I LOVE Doctor Who!!!! Visit this blog: www.whoviansanctuary.blogspot.com

The last few episodes ROCKED!!!

Ashley said...

I did an honest to God spit take when I read the thing about Starbuck being drunk all the time. LOL JENNIE.

I think I might be drunk all the time, too, if I lived on Galactica.