How It Happened or: Joe is a Big Liar

Here is what I thought was going to happen last night: I was going to go over to Joe's and we were going to go to his apartment complex's Christmas party for the free food (obviously) and then we'd watch Lost (Season 5!) or something for the rest of the evening.

That is not what happened (again I say: obviously). When I got to his place, I opened the door to find music playing softly in the background (David Berkeley) and candles lit on the coffee table. "Hmm," I thought. "This is unorthodox."

Joe was in the kitchen and I walked in to find him standing over noodles and spaghetti sauce on the stove. Cheesy garlic bread was cooking in the oven (I could smell it) and when Joe offered to pour me some wine I said, "sooooo, we're not going to the Christmas party?" and he was all, "duh, moron, no," only he didn't call me a moron because he's nicer than I am. Apparently, he took a half day yesterday to get everything ready but pretended to still be at work in his emails to me so I wouldn't suspect anything. Sneaky.

Dinner was ready soon after I got there so we sat down to eat at the table, complete with candles and flowers (daisies: my favorite, plus also "Don't you think that daisies are the friendliest flower?"). At this point, I wasn't thinking much of all the special treatment because A) I'm an idiot and B) it was our year and a half anniversary, so I thought that was the reason for all the awesome.

I no longer remember anything we talked about during dinner because of what followed, just that Joe didn't eat much and I babbled so much that it took me twice as long as him to finish my meal (this is standard). While we were eating, he said, "I made you something," and handed me a CD he'd made with ALL CLAPPING SONGS ON IT. I know this might make no sense, but a long time ago, I told Joe that songs with clapping in them were my favorite because they're so happy and fun and blah blah blah OMG GUESS WHAT SONG HE PUT ON IT. Guess! OK, never mind, he put That Thing You Do on it! I love that song!

Anyway, where was I? Oh. I put the CD far away so I didn't get salad dressing or spaghetti sauce all over it, because that is something I would definitely do. I finally finished eating and we were still sitting there talking when he was all, "I made something else for you," and pulled out this little book. It was a comic book that he'd drawn in this style, which: awesome. There weren't any words, so I narrated the pictures as I looked at it: "Oh, look, it's us! Oh, Boston Stoker, our first date! Ooh, we're watching It's Always Sunny! Aww, we're holding hands. Oh, hey, you're down on one knee in this one..." and then he got down on one knee IRL right next to me and I put the book down because my hands were shaking and it was apparently time for me to start crying (dude, Jennie, pull yourself together) and Joe was holding a ring and it was all very surreal. So then, you know, he asked and I said yes (biggest OBVIOUSLY ever) and there was hugging and more crying on my part and Joe was all, "omg stop," because I don't really cry so it probably freaked him out. Then I worried about whether or not the ring would fit (because worrying, that is what I do) and wouldn't you know it? It totally did. Which is weird, because it was his grandma's ring so it's not like he could specify the size. And it's not like I could have even told him the size because I never wear jewelry SO I DON'T EVEN KNOW what size ring I wear. I'm so bad at being a girl sometimes.

Since that whole thing was settled, it was time to start calling parents and whatnot. Actually, we gave ourselves a bit before we called anyone so we could drink champagne and focus our thoughts because I was all, "What do we do now? How does this work? Should we Google it?" We each spent the next hour calling various people, and then texting various people, and then updating Facebook, which is kind of like a business transaction. I mean, once it's on Facebook, it's totally official, no backsies.

At some point, he was all, "I have another surprise," and I thought he was headed toward the library (which I was told NOT to go into earlier in the evening) and for realsies? I thought maybe there was a puppy in there. But no, it turned out to be a little chocolate cake, which is almost as good. When I told Joe that I thought he'd gotten a puppy, he was all, "um, don't you think it would have barked or something in the two hours you've been here?" and I said, "I don't know, I didn't put that much thought into it, I just got excited about a puppy."

So then we ate cake and I drank more champagne, probably more champagne that is OK for a Monday night but I thought since it was a special occasion, I got a free pass. And now it is today and I told my coworkers this morning, who all wanted to hear the story and I'm still really excited which means it's been really hard to get anything done today. Also, I had caffeine this morning for the first time in over a month and so that is why this post is so jumbled and nonsensical, because that is how my brain feels right now. OK, bye!