Whoever wields this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor. (ATTENTION: SPOILERS AHEAD)

It is a truth universally acknowledged (um, in our house anyway), that I know little to nothing about comic book stuff and Joe knows, well, everything. We saw Thor last and I had some follow up questions regarding Thor, The Avengers, and the previews for X-Men: First Class. And I thought HEY! Maybe other people have the same questions! Or maybe they want to laugh at how little I know about comics. Win win win!

Anyway, read on and be educated:


1. The Cosmic Cube

Jennie: So, what was that thing at the end of the credits?

Joe: The Cosmic Cube. It’s basically a source of unlimited power, I’m not sure how it works, and the Red Skull is always after it.


2. Where my bitches at?

Jennie: I was expecting an Avengery person to be in Thor but I didn't remember that Jeremy Renner was an Avenger.

Joe: Yeah, I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to spoil it.

Jennie: And he's...The Green Arrow?

Joe: No, Hawkeye. The Green Arrow is DC, Hawkeye is like Marvel's answer to The Green Arrow.

Jennie: Oh. I get all the Green people mixed up. Hornet, Lantern, Arrow, IT'S CONFUSING.

Joe: Haha.

Jennie: OK, so the Avengers are Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk, Hawkeye but not Hawkeye from MASH, Captain America...

Joe: You said Captain America already.

Jennie: Oh...um, who are the rest?

Joe: You forgot Thor.

Jennie: Ha, oh yeah, duh. Are there any girl Avengers?

Joe: Well, there's Black Widow.

Jennie: UGH. Scarlett Johanssen.

Joe: Yeah. There's also The Wasp and Scarlet Witch. Scarlet Witch is Magneto's daughter.

Jennie: But they don't get their own movies.

Joe: Well...probably not.

Jennie: THAT'S BULLSHIT.

Joe: I agree.

Jennie: So what you're telling me is that the most high profile female Avenger right now is played by Scarlett Johanssen. Who cannot act.

Joe: I know, it's unfortunate.

Jennie: But she looks really good in the outfit, so I suppose that's all that matters.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOE!

I'm glad you were borned. You take care of me when I'm sick AND you didn't let me tumble into the ocean (or off of the balcony) that time I had too much tequila on our honeymoon. Our games of Scrabble always ALWAYS devolve into seeing who can spell the dirtiest words. You completely indulge me when I'm giggling over absolutely nothing (which is often) or just plain being weird (which is even more often) and then you totally outweird ME and it's awesome. You act like a total girl whenever Max does something cute (I mean that in a nice way) and you're nicer to Phoebe than I am.

You help me through scary stuff and won't let me get away with saying I'm not angry even though I obviously am, which pretty much makes you the more mature one in this relationship (duh).

The future may be uncertain but at least we can wander around all confused together.

PLUS ALSO, you let me (nay, ENCOURAGE ME to) post pictures like this on the internet:


What more could I ask for? HAAAAAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAY!

won't you be my neighbor

I find it somewhat comforting to realize that I care as much about Valentine's Day now that I'm married as I did when I was single, which is to say, very little.

I do, however, care very much about these Doctor Who Valentine's Day cards. So there's that.

A funny thing happened yesterday in Ohio and that thing was that it wasn't absolutely frigid outside. It was maybe, MAYBE, 45, but that didn't stop some silly Ohioans from running around in shorts and t-shirts. Because that's what people do on the first semi-warm day of the year and I sort of love it. I mean, I'm not going to start running around in a sundress just because it's above freezing, but it was nice to walk Max IN THE SUNSHINE and not have to wear two pairs of pants, a scarf, gloves, and a hat and yet still worry about whether the tip of my nose is going to fall off because OMG I CAN'T FEEL MY NOSE ANYMORE.

I think the warm weather made me more productive, too, because NOT ONLY did I go to the grocery, but Joe and I ran all sorts of boring errands and didn't complain about them ONCE, plus I chopped up a million vegetables so the Crock Pot could make some beef stew for us to have for dinner tonight. I love when the Crock Pot cooks for us, especially on nights when I'm not going to be home until 7:30.

Oh! I forgot to tell you guys something really important about our neighbor, who we call Poltergeist Lady, because, well, she looks like this lady. In fact, when we first moved in, she knocked on our door to introduce herself and when she left, this happened:

Me: Oh, man. I'm having really mean thoughts.
Joe: Ooh, what are they?
Me: I don't wanna say.
Joe: Is it this? "Carol Anne, Carol Anne!"
Me: OK, so at least we're both going to hell.

So that's how she got the name Poltergeist Lady. She's very nice, but we always thought her a little odd, and the other night I upgraded her status from "a little odd," to "I'm not answering the door anymore."

We had a pretty bad ice storm a couple of weeks ago, and because of this, Joe and I both worked from home. This meant I didn't shower until I "left" work, so I had just gotten out of the shower when there was a knock on the door. Joe answered (in his Superman pajama pants) and I hid in the bathroom and listened. This is what I heard:

Poltergeist Lady: Hiiiiiiii.
Joe: Hi.
PL: [lots of mumbly words]
Joe: Um...
PL: [more mumbly words]
Joe: OK?

Then I heard Joe go into the kitchen, get something out of a cabinet, and go back to the front door.

Joe: Here you go.
PL: THANK YOU!

"What was that?" I shouted once the front door was closed.

"Oh, Poltergeist Lady wanted to borrow some taco seasoning," Joe answered.

Naturally, I was all, "um, WHAT," and it turns out she'd gone to the grocery to buy stuff to make tacos, but had forgotten taco seasoning, and so OF COURSE she went knocking on doors until she found some. Sure, OK. Maybe I'm just unfriendly, but I try to avoid my neighbors at all costs, because there's nothing I hate more than small talk. I'm so bad at it. I don't want to tell you how my day was, I don't care how your day was, and I can't talk with you about the weather anymore or I'll have to stab myself in the eardrum.

Anyway, so if I realized I'd forgotten ANYTHING at the grocery, I would either go back and get it or do without it. Especially if it was something like TACO SEASONING.

But, fine, she's obviously different than me AND THAT'S OK. You know what's not OK? That she came back five minutes later and asked for more.

Joe's way nicer than I am because I would have lied and said we didn't have any taco seasoning the first time she knocked on the door. So it's good that he answered the door instead of me. We want to remain on her good side, you know, in case our TV ever starts talking to us.

Joe and Jennie in the morning

NOT ONLY did Joe and I watch the entire first season of Community this past weekend, but we also started a new blog.  It's HERE.  We'll be reviewing TV shows and whatnot.  We started with Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman because we were both obsessed with it as tiny children.  Come play with us! 

the very definition of WTF

We got a wedding gift today. And it came in a giant bag. So, of course, then this happened:







Joe was sad that all six foot five of him would not fit in the bag, so Phoebe tried to console him:



It sort of looks like he's growing out of the floor, but I swear, he's not.

Happy Birthday, Joe!

I'm really glad you were born and stuff.

How It Happened or: Joe is a Big Liar

Here is what I thought was going to happen last night: I was going to go over to Joe's and we were going to go to his apartment complex's Christmas party for the free food (obviously) and then we'd watch Lost (Season 5!) or something for the rest of the evening.

That is not what happened (again I say: obviously). When I got to his place, I opened the door to find music playing softly in the background (David Berkeley) and candles lit on the coffee table. "Hmm," I thought. "This is unorthodox."

Joe was in the kitchen and I walked in to find him standing over noodles and spaghetti sauce on the stove. Cheesy garlic bread was cooking in the oven (I could smell it) and when Joe offered to pour me some wine I said, "sooooo, we're not going to the Christmas party?" and he was all, "duh, moron, no," only he didn't call me a moron because he's nicer than I am. Apparently, he took a half day yesterday to get everything ready but pretended to still be at work in his emails to me so I wouldn't suspect anything. Sneaky.

Dinner was ready soon after I got there so we sat down to eat at the table, complete with candles and flowers (daisies: my favorite, plus also "Don't you think that daisies are the friendliest flower?"). At this point, I wasn't thinking much of all the special treatment because A) I'm an idiot and B) it was our year and a half anniversary, so I thought that was the reason for all the awesome.

I no longer remember anything we talked about during dinner because of what followed, just that Joe didn't eat much and I babbled so much that it took me twice as long as him to finish my meal (this is standard). While we were eating, he said, "I made you something," and handed me a CD he'd made with ALL CLAPPING SONGS ON IT. I know this might make no sense, but a long time ago, I told Joe that songs with clapping in them were my favorite because they're so happy and fun and blah blah blah OMG GUESS WHAT SONG HE PUT ON IT. Guess! OK, never mind, he put That Thing You Do on it! I love that song!

Anyway, where was I? Oh. I put the CD far away so I didn't get salad dressing or spaghetti sauce all over it, because that is something I would definitely do. I finally finished eating and we were still sitting there talking when he was all, "I made something else for you," and pulled out this little book. It was a comic book that he'd drawn in this style, which: awesome. There weren't any words, so I narrated the pictures as I looked at it: "Oh, look, it's us! Oh, Boston Stoker, our first date! Ooh, we're watching It's Always Sunny! Aww, we're holding hands. Oh, hey, you're down on one knee in this one..." and then he got down on one knee IRL right next to me and I put the book down because my hands were shaking and it was apparently time for me to start crying (dude, Jennie, pull yourself together) and Joe was holding a ring and it was all very surreal. So then, you know, he asked and I said yes (biggest OBVIOUSLY ever) and there was hugging and more crying on my part and Joe was all, "omg stop," because I don't really cry so it probably freaked him out. Then I worried about whether or not the ring would fit (because worrying, that is what I do) and wouldn't you know it? It totally did. Which is weird, because it was his grandma's ring so it's not like he could specify the size. And it's not like I could have even told him the size because I never wear jewelry SO I DON'T EVEN KNOW what size ring I wear. I'm so bad at being a girl sometimes.

Since that whole thing was settled, it was time to start calling parents and whatnot. Actually, we gave ourselves a bit before we called anyone so we could drink champagne and focus our thoughts because I was all, "What do we do now? How does this work? Should we Google it?" We each spent the next hour calling various people, and then texting various people, and then updating Facebook, which is kind of like a business transaction. I mean, once it's on Facebook, it's totally official, no backsies.

At some point, he was all, "I have another surprise," and I thought he was headed toward the library (which I was told NOT to go into earlier in the evening) and for realsies? I thought maybe there was a puppy in there. But no, it turned out to be a little chocolate cake, which is almost as good. When I told Joe that I thought he'd gotten a puppy, he was all, "um, don't you think it would have barked or something in the two hours you've been here?" and I said, "I don't know, I didn't put that much thought into it, I just got excited about a puppy."

So then we ate cake and I drank more champagne, probably more champagne that is OK for a Monday night but I thought since it was a special occasion, I got a free pass. And now it is today and I told my coworkers this morning, who all wanted to hear the story and I'm still really excited which means it's been really hard to get anything done today. Also, I had caffeine this morning for the first time in over a month and so that is why this post is so jumbled and nonsensical, because that is how my brain feels right now. OK, bye!

Dear Internets,

We already told our parents and texted like crazy and updated Facebook but I couldn't NOT tell the Internets, obviously, because I've been friends with the Internets for like FIVE WHOLE YEARS now but some of you reject the Book of Faces for some reason and so what I'm trying to say is Joe and I got engaged last night.

just as you are

I'm still not entirely sure why I decided to join Match last year. Boredom, loneliness, curiosity, all of the above. I was just getting over a looooong angsty period as a result of A Boy who made me feel angsty in the way only A Boy can. Once that was over (you know, mostly), I tried being set up. That didn't work, even though he was very funny, had an extensive book collection, AND looked like a grownup Harry Potter minus the lightning bolt scar.

Still, I've always been skeptical of Match (and all internet dating) and made fun of the winking, but now that I think about it, wouldn't real-life dating be a lot easier if we all employed this winking system? You see someone cute across the bar, you wink, he (hopefully) winks back and BOOM, instant love. Or something.

So join I did, after watching Heidi and her coworker giggling over profiles. Oh, I thought, it's like Myspace, only I have to pay for it and I might get axe-murdered. I was still skeptical about internet dating, although I really didn't have a reason to be. A friend from college met her husband on some Yahoo dating site PLUS there are all those happy couples in the commercials and commercials never lie, right?

(tea, not coffee)

A year ago (yesterday), I went to meet a boy for coffee, after a week of emailing and talking and making sure the other wasn't (too) crazy. I wasn't nervous to meet him, not at all. I was excited. All week, I'd been thinking, "why are we waiting til the weekend to meet?" but the weekend finally came, and we met, and I don't remember what we talked about but we hogged two of the best chairs in Boston Stoker for over four hours.

I didn't join Match with any expectations, except that maybe I'd get some entertaining blog posts out of it. Bad dates make good stories, but I never had any bad Match dates because, while I'd exchanged emails with a few people, Joe was the first person from Match that I actually met. And THANK GOD because if I'd gone on any bad dates, I would have quit immediately because, duh, I'm a quitter. And then I might never even have met Joe because we're both shut-ins who would rather stay in and read/watch movies/play with the Internets (in pajamas) than go out into the real world. Joe knows me better than anyone ('cept Heidi), he thinks the ridiculous and inappropriate things I say are cute, and he tells me I'm pretty even when I've spent the entire day all fevery and barfy and unshowered. There's nothing in the world I wouldn't want to do with Joe, even if that something is doing nothing.

I was never all that interested in falling in love because it seemed too messy. I knew what I wanted and could size up a boy and rule him out in an instant as NOT IT. Joe threw me off. I was instantly comfortable with him, which is unlike me. Normally I'm quiet and just generally socially awkward around new people, but not with Joe. I told him once that I'd built a wall around myself so no one could see that, yes, I have feelings and yes, they could be hurt. He just replied that it's a good thing he's tall enough to see over the wall.

(see, tall)

There's plenty to worry about in the future. Money, car, job, housing, etc. But something clicked when I met Joe. A piece of my life that I didn't even know was missing was suddenly there and now I don't have to worry about things so much. And if you knew what a chronic worrier I am, you'd see what special kind of miracle Joe worked.

Here's to a great year.