My own personal Avengers

Sometimes I feel like I spent most of my day wishing I was best friends with some fictional person or another. I spend the rest of the day wondering which fictional characters I would want on my side in a fight. Not just a fight fight, like with general fisticuffs and whatnot, but a fight with an alien or a vampire or GOD FORBID a battle with a rising zombie army. I mean, sure, I would love to hang out with Bridget Jones or Jo March but I don't think either one of them is going to be that great at helping me kill a werewolf. I think Jo would be game and would probably put a lot of effort into it, but I'm not sure that, between the two of us (Bridget, obviously, would be cowering under a table somewhere, clutching a bottle of vodka), we'd be able to overpower and defeat a werewolf. Maybe a regular wolf, a wereless wolf, but a werewolf? We'd get out throats ripped out.

That's why I've been gathering fictional fighters for my own personal protection squad. These are not necessarily people I'd want to hang out with in my spare time (ahemBUFFY), although I would LOVE to hang out with some of them in, like, all of my spare time (ahemTHE DOCTOR) but ANYWAY, my point is, I think all of them would be able to protect me from zombies, and really, isn't that all you want out of your friends bodyguards? Yes. Besides, despite even my most logical arguments, Joe won't let me get a gun so I can protect us during the inevitable zombie apocalypse that is probably going to happen any second now, so this personal protection squad is totally necessary until Joe caves.

Starbuck 

Pros: Is a badass, knows how to use a lot of different weapons, can come back from the dead (or something)

Cons: Is drunk all the time

Hermione Granger   

Pros: Knows all the magic, cool under pressure

Cons: Is usually pretty busy saving Ron and Harry

Buffy Summers 

Pros: Can protect against vampires and other demony things

Cons: So whiny

Ellen Ripley 

Pros: Will come in handy if the scariest aliens ever attack Earth

Cons: Is dead, I think? I can't remember what happened in the last movie(s).

Batman 

Pros: Has lots of gadgets, cool car, own sidekick, is a self-made superhero TAKE THAT SUPERMAN

Cons: Has that weird, growly voice thing going on right now

Fox Mulder 

Pros: Has seen a lot of crazy shit, knows about paranormally things, I would probably get to hang out with Scully, too

Cons: Drops his gun all the time, has tendency to die a lot

The Doctor  

Pros: has a sonic screwdriver, comes with a variety of companions PLUS sexy TARDIS, can regenerate if necessary
Cons: NONE